It is so hard for girls that age (15-16). Girls are so cruel to each other. I think it is because they are so jealous. It is easy to say “just ignore them” but in reality it is very hard to do. I don’t want to share the details of what we have been dealing with to protect the privacy of the youngster, but my heart breaks. The cruelty doesn’t have to be just in church. School can be even worse. Thanks for writing about this.
So sorry. It's heartbreaking. This generation has to deal with online bullying as well. I can't even. School can be worse too. It's a difficult world and it's sad if someone can't find acceptance in a church, community or home
I was at a family function and looked and a young lady was sitting alone. When we got our food my wife and I went and sat with the young lady. She had been dating one of the nephews and he wanted to bring her to meet everyone. Some of the so called "adults" decided to not talk to her because she had a lot of tattoos. We found her funny and just a really nice person and how everyone missed out on meeting her. My wife worked in the local county jail for over 25 years so people with tattoos or piercings didn't bother her. The girl even got comfortable enough to take her cover shirt off to show us her body art, which was fantastic. My wife told her she was way too good of a person for her nephew. A few weeks later my wife's nephew asks what we talked about when his then girlfriend was sitting with us because she broke up with him when they returned to school. My wife told him he would have known if he would have sat with her.
Hi Jane, I had a very painful experience at a church many years ago. It cut deep. In time I left that church and went to another church that was just the opposite. The pastor at my new church was a very kind, godly, and wise man. It took a long time, probably several years, but eventually I concluded that churches are made up of people and people are flawed. My relationship is with God. The church that hurt me so much actually taught me what NOT to do to other people. They taught me the value of compassion and NOT judging another person. They showed me exactly how a church should NOT be. I was blessed because I was also given a mentor who modeled the love of God to me and showed me how to take my wounding and turn it into a gift to help others.
In time, I changed my career from a professional accountant, returned to school, and became a counselor. That was 35 years ago. I still tell my clients that we often find out what we need to learn by first finding out what doesn't work.
Thanks so much @Lois Thomson Bowersock I’m so sorry you went thought that. It has taught me what God is not and it took me so many years to discover that. I was brought up in a church and a camp that was very evangelical. Fire and Brimstone from a young age. Our son now can’t imagine a church like I grew up in. It is the polar opposite of what I went through. He felt comfortable like he could be himself. He felt love and acceptance from a young age there. I felt fear as a child.
Yes, I know all about the hurt. I don’t know anyone who has ever responded well to Fire and Brimstone. That approach is wrong in so many ways, yet people continue to use it for their own power and self-righteousness.
I admire you for your courage and willingness to write about your experience. Thank you for sharing so openly. Blessings to you for comfort, peace and continued healing. Your writing speaks for the voice of many who have been wounded and don’t express it.
Absolutely yes, and yes! Because it's part of being human - great story! And thank you for sharing - I have my own hypocritical church stories in me - so awesome for you!
Thanks Keila. I'm so sorry you experienced that too. This is fictional, yet it is not. I've witnessed this with myself and in the community. It took years to see it as it was
wow, well done, that held my attention from beginning to end... the pacing was absolutely perfect
Thanks so much!
It is so hard for girls that age (15-16). Girls are so cruel to each other. I think it is because they are so jealous. It is easy to say “just ignore them” but in reality it is very hard to do. I don’t want to share the details of what we have been dealing with to protect the privacy of the youngster, but my heart breaks. The cruelty doesn’t have to be just in church. School can be even worse. Thanks for writing about this.
So sorry. It's heartbreaking. This generation has to deal with online bullying as well. I can't even. School can be worse too. It's a difficult world and it's sad if someone can't find acceptance in a church, community or home
I was at a family function and looked and a young lady was sitting alone. When we got our food my wife and I went and sat with the young lady. She had been dating one of the nephews and he wanted to bring her to meet everyone. Some of the so called "adults" decided to not talk to her because she had a lot of tattoos. We found her funny and just a really nice person and how everyone missed out on meeting her. My wife worked in the local county jail for over 25 years so people with tattoos or piercings didn't bother her. The girl even got comfortable enough to take her cover shirt off to show us her body art, which was fantastic. My wife told her she was way too good of a person for her nephew. A few weeks later my wife's nephew asks what we talked about when his then girlfriend was sitting with us because she broke up with him when they returned to school. My wife told him he would have known if he would have sat with her.
I’m glad you and your wife took the time to talk to her. So many people miss out of awesome human beings
Hi Jane, I had a very painful experience at a church many years ago. It cut deep. In time I left that church and went to another church that was just the opposite. The pastor at my new church was a very kind, godly, and wise man. It took a long time, probably several years, but eventually I concluded that churches are made up of people and people are flawed. My relationship is with God. The church that hurt me so much actually taught me what NOT to do to other people. They taught me the value of compassion and NOT judging another person. They showed me exactly how a church should NOT be. I was blessed because I was also given a mentor who modeled the love of God to me and showed me how to take my wounding and turn it into a gift to help others.
In time, I changed my career from a professional accountant, returned to school, and became a counselor. That was 35 years ago. I still tell my clients that we often find out what we need to learn by first finding out what doesn't work.
Thanks so much @Lois Thomson Bowersock I’m so sorry you went thought that. It has taught me what God is not and it took me so many years to discover that. I was brought up in a church and a camp that was very evangelical. Fire and Brimstone from a young age. Our son now can’t imagine a church like I grew up in. It is the polar opposite of what I went through. He felt comfortable like he could be himself. He felt love and acceptance from a young age there. I felt fear as a child.
I learned from it, but it still hurts you know?
Yes, I know all about the hurt. I don’t know anyone who has ever responded well to Fire and Brimstone. That approach is wrong in so many ways, yet people continue to use it for their own power and self-righteousness.
I admire you for your courage and willingness to write about your experience. Thank you for sharing so openly. Blessings to you for comfort, peace and continued healing. Your writing speaks for the voice of many who have been wounded and don’t express it.
Thanks so much, Lois! I truly appreciate it. I hope this helps someone while healing myself
Great story! Yes, judged and talked about are my middle names.
Thanks, Lori. So sorry you dealt with that. I think that is why my circle is small
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re gorgeous! ✨💛
Thanks so much! It is fictional, but it is based on some non-fictional events that I experienced and other females that have endured judgements.
Gosh.. but true for so many…
Absolutely yes, and yes! Because it's part of being human - great story! And thank you for sharing - I have my own hypocritical church stories in me - so awesome for you!
Thanks Keila. I'm so sorry you experienced that too. This is fictional, yet it is not. I've witnessed this with myself and in the community. It took years to see it as it was
Thanks, Kristin!