Thanks for sharing all of this, Jane. I can really relate to these moments of questioning. We are living parallel parenting lives with boys pretty much the same age; some days I think parenting teenagers is enough in itself to keep me good and tired. It's also a time in life where we tend to do a lot of reflecting on our purpose, as much as we'd like a break from all that wondering. Someone recently told me that when she comes to a really difficult part of a project or has to deal with a life challenge, her experience is that things can feel really muddy and hard right before the sun comes out and sheds some light. I liked this advice a lot, as it is pretty relevant to where I am now too. Hang in there. Trust the process.
Thanks so much, Maria. There is so much reflecting at this time of life as especially navigating the teenage years on top of it. Thanks so much for reading and comment. The waters do get muddy before the sunshines. When I think I figure it out things change again. The cycles of life I guess
Thanks for sharing that Jane. I have found that comparison is the thief of joy (I think Teddy Roosevelt said that). When I compare, I feel bad. When I stay with my purpose of sharing my wisdom of practicing yoga in an aging body, I stay joyful. People who unsubscribe are not your people. Your people stay, read, and connect. Keep writing for you, and share it here. 💜
Thanks so much! That's what I'm continuing to do. I don't want to know who unsubribes and I'll try not to noticed the numbers go up and down. They are numbers. It's hard though.
It's perspective. The numbers aren't just numbers, they are people who want to read what you write. If they are not a right fit, they will leave, and you are left with people who value what you say. If you know why you write, your purpose for sharing, you will connect with the right people.
I think we all doubt ourselves sometimes. It's definitely important to remind ourselves why we're here and that we are worthy. Thank you for sharing this essay. It's great to know that we all feel this way.
So true and I have to remember my why. I notice a few subscribes and then unsubscribes an hour ago. Why 2? Why do I care. Because I do. Ugh! I need to change the settings on that if possible
Oh yeah. Well, then you'll have to ignore them and know that just because someone unsubscribes, it doesn't mean that your work is not worth it. Maybe it's just not for them! This way, you're getting one step closer to your ideal audience. You'll find readers who actually love your writing and support you!
Thanks Ayesha! I am getting closer and will find my audience. I have writing I prefer to read over others and ones I connect with. I keep watching my numbers as I got closer to 200. I thought I'd make it by now. The I got obsessed and it became about numbers and not writing.
Love these honest thoughts! Always so refreshing to know you're not alone in your ponderings. 💛 I want answers NOW goddamnit lol and the quiet whispering in my soul says... you already have the answers. Which I take to mean... relax. It'll all work out. <- which makes me want to do the opposite of relax lol and so, I shall continue on, practicing letting go hopefully a little more each day. Thanks for prompting these thoughts out of my head this morning. 💕
Thanks so much Megan! It helps me to know I'm not alone too. Our souls do have the answers! Love that insight. I don't always listen. Sometimes I feel like nothing is happening, yet it is. I feel like I need to be in control and I need to relax. Wish it were easier
1,000,000% relate to the struggle of waiting and patience and relaxing and having faith. 🥲 And... I also cling to the faith that I do have. We've got this. 💕
I think we're similar! Except I'm probably 10 years younger. Like you, I'm a later-in-life mom (currently going on 45 with a son who is almost 6) and I have a chronic/genetic condition which I have written about. I also don't know where I sit in terms of my writing. I mean, am I interesting? Do my articles bore people (I mean, why do I only have 29 subscribers? After having been here for a year or so? )? It's a lot about my life, and Substack is kind of supplementary therapy for me, if you can call it that. Or is it because people can't find me? I don't know. I'm not very good at promoting things about myself (maybe I need to start thinking of Writer Cynthia as another person and ignore the fact that I'm doing shameless self promotion. I know I need to do that for my book!! And I've been slacking). In any case, like everyone else has said, keep on writing, regardless of how many subscribers you have.
We do have similarities for sure! I think it's about finding an audience. It could be 10 and if I could connect with all of them it would mean more than 1k that did not. I'm doing OK subscriber wise, but then I'll see someone that has 1k or 2k in a few months and I'm like, how?? It's a mystery.
I see writers that have more talent but numbers are lower maybe. Writing is subjective. I also noticed that posting on notes seems to affect the count, but that can become a rabbit hole for me
Thanks so much for commenting. I always appreciate them and your insights! Also your articles I enjoy! Please keep writing!! I write as therapy as well. I write for myself. It's an added bonus that I can share this with others regardless of the numbers
I tried to get my family to subscribe, but other than my dad, no one has. I think there's a cultural aspect to it. My cousin (who is slightly more than a 1.5 years older than me) kind of lurks, but hasn't subscribed. She doesn't comment, either. I don't think any of them have. Said cousin was born and raised in Hong Kong, but lived in the US (for both school and work) for a few years before moving back. She was in the Boston area for school and then worked in Manhattan.
It could be a cultural thing with your family. With my family it's age. My sister and husband subscribed and a cousin. I have older relatives that aren't on social media I guess I can't complain. I have friends I wish would or at least notice and comment on my writing. Not everyone is a reader though. Also, I've mentioned this before most people have an attention span shorter than a gold fish - guilty myself! I try not to take it personally. It's hard because as writers we put so much of ourselves into our work.
The cultural thing is what I’m guessing with my family too (my cousin, for serious, asked me after I told her that I was seeing a Jewish guy (who is now my husband), what that “meant.” Keep in mind she was living and working in NYC at the time. So it wasn’t like she wouldn’t be aware. I was taken aback and even invisibly rolled my eyes. It wasn’t meant to be anti-Semitic though. It was just unawareness.
I am feeling similar - I have a progressive "disability" - I look "normal" and I won't sit back, but I am starting to accept some realities and changing the way I engage in activities I enjoy - and I also have a teenager actually starting college in the Fall! Life-changing and it does go fast, but it's forever. It's kinda amazing. 💖
So true!! I have to remind myself of that. I'm writing for myself and I hope to connect with others that are the right fit
Thanks for sharing all of this, Jane. I can really relate to these moments of questioning. We are living parallel parenting lives with boys pretty much the same age; some days I think parenting teenagers is enough in itself to keep me good and tired. It's also a time in life where we tend to do a lot of reflecting on our purpose, as much as we'd like a break from all that wondering. Someone recently told me that when she comes to a really difficult part of a project or has to deal with a life challenge, her experience is that things can feel really muddy and hard right before the sun comes out and sheds some light. I liked this advice a lot, as it is pretty relevant to where I am now too. Hang in there. Trust the process.
Thanks so much, Maria. There is so much reflecting at this time of life as especially navigating the teenage years on top of it. Thanks so much for reading and comment. The waters do get muddy before the sunshines. When I think I figure it out things change again. The cycles of life I guess
Thanks for sharing that Jane. I have found that comparison is the thief of joy (I think Teddy Roosevelt said that). When I compare, I feel bad. When I stay with my purpose of sharing my wisdom of practicing yoga in an aging body, I stay joyful. People who unsubscribe are not your people. Your people stay, read, and connect. Keep writing for you, and share it here. 💜
Thanks so much! That's what I'm continuing to do. I don't want to know who unsubribes and I'll try not to noticed the numbers go up and down. They are numbers. It's hard though.
It's perspective. The numbers aren't just numbers, they are people who want to read what you write. If they are not a right fit, they will leave, and you are left with people who value what you say. If you know why you write, your purpose for sharing, you will connect with the right people.
I think we all doubt ourselves sometimes. It's definitely important to remind ourselves why we're here and that we are worthy. Thank you for sharing this essay. It's great to know that we all feel this way.
So true and I have to remember my why. I notice a few subscribes and then unsubscribes an hour ago. Why 2? Why do I care. Because I do. Ugh! I need to change the settings on that if possible
I guess we have to learn how to not attach our emotions to that and I do think there is an option to disable those emails.
I do have that disabled but my stats keep popping up on my page
Oh yeah. Well, then you'll have to ignore them and know that just because someone unsubscribes, it doesn't mean that your work is not worth it. Maybe it's just not for them! This way, you're getting one step closer to your ideal audience. You'll find readers who actually love your writing and support you!
Thanks Ayesha! I am getting closer and will find my audience. I have writing I prefer to read over others and ones I connect with. I keep watching my numbers as I got closer to 200. I thought I'd make it by now. The I got obsessed and it became about numbers and not writing.
I can completely relate! You're welcome.
This is a great essay Jane - a reminder to ourselves on why we are here and that our journeys are all unique.
Thanks so much! I need to take my own advice sometimes ;)
Love these honest thoughts! Always so refreshing to know you're not alone in your ponderings. 💛 I want answers NOW goddamnit lol and the quiet whispering in my soul says... you already have the answers. Which I take to mean... relax. It'll all work out. <- which makes me want to do the opposite of relax lol and so, I shall continue on, practicing letting go hopefully a little more each day. Thanks for prompting these thoughts out of my head this morning. 💕
Thanks so much Megan! It helps me to know I'm not alone too. Our souls do have the answers! Love that insight. I don't always listen. Sometimes I feel like nothing is happening, yet it is. I feel like I need to be in control and I need to relax. Wish it were easier
1,000,000% relate to the struggle of waiting and patience and relaxing and having faith. 🥲 And... I also cling to the faith that I do have. We've got this. 💕
Thanks Megan ❤️
Hang in there! You’ll figure it out. I say that to myself every day! 😅
Thank you!! Eventually I always do ;)
I think we're similar! Except I'm probably 10 years younger. Like you, I'm a later-in-life mom (currently going on 45 with a son who is almost 6) and I have a chronic/genetic condition which I have written about. I also don't know where I sit in terms of my writing. I mean, am I interesting? Do my articles bore people (I mean, why do I only have 29 subscribers? After having been here for a year or so? )? It's a lot about my life, and Substack is kind of supplementary therapy for me, if you can call it that. Or is it because people can't find me? I don't know. I'm not very good at promoting things about myself (maybe I need to start thinking of Writer Cynthia as another person and ignore the fact that I'm doing shameless self promotion. I know I need to do that for my book!! And I've been slacking). In any case, like everyone else has said, keep on writing, regardless of how many subscribers you have.
We do have similarities for sure! I think it's about finding an audience. It could be 10 and if I could connect with all of them it would mean more than 1k that did not. I'm doing OK subscriber wise, but then I'll see someone that has 1k or 2k in a few months and I'm like, how?? It's a mystery.
I see writers that have more talent but numbers are lower maybe. Writing is subjective. I also noticed that posting on notes seems to affect the count, but that can become a rabbit hole for me
Thanks so much for commenting. I always appreciate them and your insights! Also your articles I enjoy! Please keep writing!! I write as therapy as well. I write for myself. It's an added bonus that I can share this with others regardless of the numbers
I tried to get my family to subscribe, but other than my dad, no one has. I think there's a cultural aspect to it. My cousin (who is slightly more than a 1.5 years older than me) kind of lurks, but hasn't subscribed. She doesn't comment, either. I don't think any of them have. Said cousin was born and raised in Hong Kong, but lived in the US (for both school and work) for a few years before moving back. She was in the Boston area for school and then worked in Manhattan.
It could be a cultural thing with your family. With my family it's age. My sister and husband subscribed and a cousin. I have older relatives that aren't on social media I guess I can't complain. I have friends I wish would or at least notice and comment on my writing. Not everyone is a reader though. Also, I've mentioned this before most people have an attention span shorter than a gold fish - guilty myself! I try not to take it personally. It's hard because as writers we put so much of ourselves into our work.
The cultural thing is what I’m guessing with my family too (my cousin, for serious, asked me after I told her that I was seeing a Jewish guy (who is now my husband), what that “meant.” Keep in mind she was living and working in NYC at the time. So it wasn’t like she wouldn’t be aware. I was taken aback and even invisibly rolled my eyes. It wasn’t meant to be anti-Semitic though. It was just unawareness.
Oh wow. I'm so sorry. That still hurts
She is Ivy League educated and had already worked in Manhattan for three or four years by then. I don’t know how she wouldn’t know.
I am feeling similar - I have a progressive "disability" - I look "normal" and I won't sit back, but I am starting to accept some realities and changing the way I engage in activities I enjoy - and I also have a teenager actually starting college in the Fall! Life-changing and it does go fast, but it's forever. It's kinda amazing. 💖
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It's hard to accept for myself that is. I am still in denial and will probably always be
College in the fall. That's wonderful!! It all goes so fast you know?