7 Comments
User's avatar
Robbie Marriage's avatar

As a human who has ran the gambit to and back from a gripping addiction, all before the age of 24, this is a relatable poem. There was no pain or trauma that led me down the bad path. It's just the culture where I grew up, but addiction creates the pain that it's supposed to mask, and blinds you from the fact that the cause of your pain is the vice to which you so cling.

I don't need to tell my life story here, but I have to go to bed every night knowing it's strictly luck (in addition to some personal craftiness, but mostly luck) that kept me from spiraling the drain in the way many of my friends and both my siblings did. My guilt over that will never go away. My fear will never go away either.

I don't have any poignant way to finish this comment, but thanks to you for tackling this very difficult topic.

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks for sharing. Addiction can show up in many ways from scrolling your phone, alcohol, diet, exercise..some can seem harmless, but aren't until you relize it's too late

Thanks so much for sharing and commenting

Expand full comment
A.C. Cargill, All-Human Author's avatar

For so long I felt like this. Then I met hubby. Been together 27 yrs. Hope is always there.

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Catching dopamine hits here and there.

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Congratulations. My hubby and I have been together 36 years! It's about how I use other mind numbing things to cure pain. Non substances. Being burned by people I thought I trusted, Like any poetry up to interpretation. Enough said

Expand full comment
A.C. Cargill, All-Human Author's avatar

I certainly didn’t dull the pain with substances—unless ice cream and chocolate count. Hee!

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks for the restack

Expand full comment