This old mare isn't what she used to be

Acceptance of aging isn't easy. Mri on a Tuesday Morning. Aging is a gift, but it's still cruel sometimes.

Looks can be deceiving, but you don't see the hours of physical therapy I do or joint swelling and daily icing.

MRI today of my shoulder with contrast

Thank you to my husband Mike for being with me every step of the way. I am claustrophobic (a condition that started in my early 40) so 2 Xanax and I am still tired.

This is an old injury that I ignored, and I pushed through. An injury to my shoulder 4 years ago, my job self-employed dog walker/pet sitter, years of being a hair stylist and workouts did me in. Most of all I ignored the pain. I kept thinking I could push through but, I'm not 25, 35 or even 45 (or 50!) anymore. My body is changing, it us humbling and I have to listen to it.

The torn meniscus (shredded) and bone on bone arthritis was diagnosis last year at 54 but I didn't give up. Now a possible shoulder labrum/rotator cuff more devastation.

I will get back to doing what I love. Walking dogs (I still can with care), hiking in woods, working out. It will look different though. Handstands!! They made me feel powerful!

I'm taking a day off. My admin work for running a business can wait. Housework can wait. Mind is still fuzzy from the procedure,

medication and stress.

Tomorrow will be better. It's OK to rest. My business will be there and whatever my test results will be I can handle it. You can't always be everything to everyone even to yourself.

Be well and be kind to yourselves.

My 34-year-old self. Hiking climbing and no knee worries. It's hard not to grieve our youth and mobility.