17 Comments
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Ken Macko's avatar

“Most of all I can see how much I am loved and blessed in this photo. That’s what matters!”

And that’s the most important. Sometimes it’s just hard to keep that focus. You get it 😉

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks Ken! That's what matters. I have to keep focusing on that

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mitch's avatar

I have had and still have BDD . Yet Drs tell me i shouldn't . Hell i shouldn't before my aortic surgery in 2016 . I gained a lot of weight yet was still eating the same , working , bowling . So I knew something was wrong . Saw my Dr he said need to go to cardio right away , I can hear the leak now . Granted this is something hopefully non of you go through , Since surgery , than stroke months later Drs were amazed I was gaining weight when they had me on IV liquids . now years later I am scared to eat almost anything ,It is a terrifying fear . So if anyone has BDD . please see a DR or therapist . Great article Jane . hugs and peace to all

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I'm so sorry to hear of your health struggles. Men are not immune BDD either sadly, children as well

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mitch's avatar

No ,Know one is , Like you said . Yet it is becoming a major illness for all in many ways .

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Charlotte Pendragon's avatar

Bless you, you’re beautiful! Seriously, when I look at the few photos posted in your article, I think, “how can she not love her body?” I know it’s a mind thing, and it’s difficult to negotiate the depth of our brain to solve these conditions, so my heart goes out to you. ✨💜🙏🤗 Thank you for the information about BDD, I’d not heard off it,

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks Charlotte for your kindness. I used to think I was too thin up until my 30s! It was genetics and people make back handed comments about being too thin. As a therapist mentioned to me, BDD is more about how you feel inside than your outer appearance. It's how you percieve yourself physically and it's distorted. Usually people with BDD focus on one area like their noses, arms , hair, waist. They don't see themselves as a while

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Charlotte Pendragon's avatar

That condition must be debilitating for the many people who suffer from it. Thank you for shedding light on BDD.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks Charlotte. It is on spectrum like so many things. There is shame around this too for those that suffer this, like any other mental or physical illness

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Jennifer's avatar

I can totally relate to this. I thought I was always heavy since a teenager. I’m at my highest weight I’ve ever been, mostly due medication side effects, but still it doesn’t feel good. I look at old pictures and wish I would’ve loved and was more confident when I was thinner. I will usually on take selfies of myself. Whole body pictures make me sick to look at. Then I get that positive voice in my head, no one is treating me differently. They still love me for me! If I’m more confident in my own skin, then that confidence will override the feelings that people are just staring at my fat rolls. The less I think about the better I feel about myself. If I have to buy a larger size to feel more comfortable than so be it. It is very difficult to overcome though. Jane, I love you not just for your outer beauty but your inner beauty. You are a beautiful person!

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks Jen for your kind words. It's makes me so sad that you feel that way. You are a beautiful person, my friend, inside and out and I mean that. I critique selfies of myself and then I don't post. I will find flaws, but it means I'm human and they are not flaws, if that makes sense? It's our filtered world, I am doing that to myself. I agree with sizing. It's just a number that's all. I will go up a size and not get attached to the number. I find it's more flattering and I'm more comfortable

Thanks again for commenting ❤️ Love ya!

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CynthiaCM's avatar

I don’t know about feeling fat, but as a petite gal, I’ve often felt like things don’t look right on me because it’s really long. And being small-framed, there are brands who vanity size to the point that XS is really a medium! I guess that’s not really the same thing.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Sizing is so difficult and it doesn't make sense a 6 can be a 10 somewhere else. I am just under 5.5 and I struggle finding pants the right length. Vanity sizing and most clothes is designed for a 5 foot 10, 108 lbs 19 year-old model. That is not the majority of women

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CynthiaCM's avatar

And they pin the clothes on models to make it look like it fits. I’ve found that local brands who use “real sized” people as models (one here in Toronto often use their staff!) are the most guilty of vanity sizing. Save for leggings and wrap dresses, I can’t even wear their clothes anymore. They won’t do XXS and their XS is HUMONGOUS! At least one of their models is like 5’ tall, but she’s a lot curvier than me so XS fits her better.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Oh wow!!

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CynthiaCM's avatar

I told them that I’d gladly pay extra for a few custom pieces but they’re not interested. I’m otherwise fairly consistent with sizing in the 0/2/XS range (i.e. what would have been called a 4/6 decades ago). 0P/2P/XSP would fit better proportion-wise though.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

You would think with custom pieces they would be.

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