Jane, you are beautiful. Thank you for being brave to share.
Although raised, (like I was, with love and zero criticism or parent control/opinions over body image) -- our youngest went through body dysmorphia in high school. The world is a cruel place. He even believed he needed risky surgery. He still goes to therapy and is a rock climber for sport in great shape.
And I find grown women my age (64 and older) are the worst at making other women feel inferior, whether by education, or comments like "aren't you little." Actually my nana was little and my mom is little. It's a repetitive barrier to any new relationship in the form of a comment. It's taken up until now to see it very clearly. As a result I am a loner by nature - but I don't mind it anymore. I'm not a showy person and it's actually made me feel old and yucky. I see every wrinkle from lost elasticity and the grossness of skinniness (my view in the mirror).
We are all beautiful to God. That is my saving grace.
I can relate to this Jane. My whole life people have commented on my size, telling me I’m too thin. I used to work with a couple of people who would always tell me I needed to eat a burger or a pizza to “put some meat on those bones.” I began to feel very self conscious, and to this day I find myself picking out clothes that hides my body at times. It’s definitely a struggle some days and I’m still learning as I go. I keep telling myself that most people are not even paying attention, because that’s the truth. Thank you for sharing your story….I’m sure there are many people who can relate and will benefit from reading this 🙏🌻
Thanks so much, Darcy for reading and sharing your experience. I had the too skinny thing too. People can be cruel. I got all of those and more and "Oh my God you're so skinny." Is not a complement. So I felt shame
I've "filled out" since perimenopause and Menopause. Becareful what you ask for, right?
People can be cruel. I realize now the comments were jealous reactions, but it still scars
I struggled with it in my twenties, too. Sending you lots of love ❤️
Not sure if this helps, but simple water retention can make it look like we gained weight.
Hormonal rollercoasters, eating too much salt, drinking alcohol, not drinking enough water etc. all can cause us to hold onto water, and this 'weight gain' can be quite dramatic. You can gain quite a few kilos or pounds in one day.
It causes bloating of the stomach too, I look about 4 months pregnant when I'm holding onto water.
(Peri)menopause can cause all kinds of changes, like histamine intolerance, which mimics food allergies or intolerances and causes bloating/water retention. You might want to look into that, you never know it helps 🙏
I have a gluten intolerance I know. I am in menopause now crossed that awesome line 2 years ago. I wonder what kind of doctor I could go to for that? Histamine intolerance?
Wheat triggers histamine release. I would go to a dietician or nutritionist who specializes in menopause, because generally doctors know jack shit about things like this (and also don't care).
Jane, I’ve gone through plenty of those iOS and downs either my body when I were younger. In my older age at 71 I’m learning to be happy with my wrinkles and crepey skin. Lol!
I believe I had it and perhaps still do. But it was really bad when I was younger. I could not leave the house sometimes. It made me very picky about clothes, and lots more. I am guessing that is what it was, even though people mostly talk about it in terms of females. I am glad you wrote this.
Thanks so much. This can and does affect all genders. Probably more than we know but it isn't talked about. I'm sorry for your struggle with this, and I think acknowledging it is the first step
Jane, you are beautiful. Thank you for being brave to share.
Although raised, (like I was, with love and zero criticism or parent control/opinions over body image) -- our youngest went through body dysmorphia in high school. The world is a cruel place. He even believed he needed risky surgery. He still goes to therapy and is a rock climber for sport in great shape.
And I find grown women my age (64 and older) are the worst at making other women feel inferior, whether by education, or comments like "aren't you little." Actually my nana was little and my mom is little. It's a repetitive barrier to any new relationship in the form of a comment. It's taken up until now to see it very clearly. As a result I am a loner by nature - but I don't mind it anymore. I'm not a showy person and it's actually made me feel old and yucky. I see every wrinkle from lost elasticity and the grossness of skinniness (my view in the mirror).
We are all beautiful to God. That is my saving grace.
Hope you're having a peaceful weekend. ox
Thanks so much, Deborah for commenting and your kind words
It's horrible that other women can't support each other. I don't think they realize the power if words
I can relate to this Jane. My whole life people have commented on my size, telling me I’m too thin. I used to work with a couple of people who would always tell me I needed to eat a burger or a pizza to “put some meat on those bones.” I began to feel very self conscious, and to this day I find myself picking out clothes that hides my body at times. It’s definitely a struggle some days and I’m still learning as I go. I keep telling myself that most people are not even paying attention, because that’s the truth. Thank you for sharing your story….I’m sure there are many people who can relate and will benefit from reading this 🙏🌻
Thanks so much, Darcy for reading and sharing your experience. I had the too skinny thing too. People can be cruel. I got all of those and more and "Oh my God you're so skinny." Is not a complement. So I felt shame
I've "filled out" since perimenopause and Menopause. Becareful what you ask for, right?
People can be cruel. I realize now the comments were jealous reactions, but it still scars
You are a beautiful person inside and out!
I struggled with it in my twenties, too. Sending you lots of love ❤️
Not sure if this helps, but simple water retention can make it look like we gained weight.
Hormonal rollercoasters, eating too much salt, drinking alcohol, not drinking enough water etc. all can cause us to hold onto water, and this 'weight gain' can be quite dramatic. You can gain quite a few kilos or pounds in one day.
It causes bloating of the stomach too, I look about 4 months pregnant when I'm holding onto water.
Could be. Maybe I should drink more water can't hurt. The bloat is menopause and gluten and dairy intolerance. Wish I could find an answer
(Peri)menopause can cause all kinds of changes, like histamine intolerance, which mimics food allergies or intolerances and causes bloating/water retention. You might want to look into that, you never know it helps 🙏
I have a gluten intolerance I know. I am in menopause now crossed that awesome line 2 years ago. I wonder what kind of doctor I could go to for that? Histamine intolerance?
Wheat triggers histamine release. I would go to a dietician or nutritionist who specializes in menopause, because generally doctors know jack shit about things like this (and also don't care).
That interesting and it makes sense too
Jane, I’ve gone through plenty of those iOS and downs either my body when I were younger. In my older age at 71 I’m learning to be happy with my wrinkles and crepey skin. Lol!
The water retention. Yep, since menopause -bloat and food sensitivities. I should get it checked out. There is rarely a day my stomach doesn't hurt
You are 71?? Dang! I thought you were closer to my age which is 56
The wrinkles and crepy skin I'm trying to embrace. The crepy part which I'm starting to see I'm not liking on myself but it's the privilege of aging
I struggle with it since been a teenager. Knowing it’s all in your head doesn’t help most times.
Exactly. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this too. I am finally able to talk about it
It took me years to realize that it’s mostly in my head. It downsizes when I’m in good mood.
It can take so long at least it took me long to realize it. I notice when I'm in a better mood, less stressed it disappears - almost.
Thanks for sharing this
You're very welcome
Thanks so much, Diana. I appreciate you reading and commenting
I believe I had it and perhaps still do. But it was really bad when I was younger. I could not leave the house sometimes. It made me very picky about clothes, and lots more. I am guessing that is what it was, even though people mostly talk about it in terms of females. I am glad you wrote this.
Thanks so much. This can and does affect all genders. Probably more than we know but it isn't talked about. I'm sorry for your struggle with this, and I think acknowledging it is the first step
Well I am better than in the past. This is an important story you wrote.
Thanks so much Strawbridge! Glad you are doing better. My symptoms with this come and go
👍