Real people - today's raw writing

What is truly real? Hint. It's not behind our screens

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

I realized something yesterday. I have been asleep for a few years!

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My husband Mike asked me to go to the store. I was tired and I wanted to sit with my free time and endlessly scroll on my phone and maybe drift off into a dreamless sleep. I decided I didn’t want to stay in. I needed to pull myself away from social media that was consuming me.

We went to a few clothing stores before that. I was looking for something longer and cooler to cover my legs, especially with the heat wave and vacation coming up. I have been self-conscious about my legs. I inherited spider veins from my mother, unfortunately. The past two summers I’ve had swollen knees due to an inoperable meniscus tear and osteoarthritis. I wear shorts as a last resort. I have to tape my knees for stability, and it feels better too, but it’s not the most attractive.

Dressing room blues

I tried on a few pants and got pissed off because of my stomach. Menopausal body. It can get bloated and the first place to gain weight. Nothing looked right. All I could see were parts of myself that I didn’t like.

I went back to the clothing rack. My husband, God bless him, was looking at sized 12’s for me. “I’m over here!” I said pointing to sizes 6 and 8 and I looked around after I said that. I felt like I saw other women for the first time as they really were. Some were larger than me and some were smaller. Some had veins on their legs (like me!) Some had bra straps showing (also like me!) They wore shorts. They wore whatever the hell they felt like. The had noses of all sized, they had pores on their face (yes, it’s not just me) They were all beautiful. They all had a story. They were real.

I woke up at that moment. I have been in a fantasy world and that world was online. I had slowly sunk here first to workaholism, then the pandemic and now… it has become a habit. I am self-employed and see pets all days, but rarely a human. 90% of my social interactions are online. With those interactions I have to wonder what is real. As with my dog Kya’s post I learned I had started to interact with bots and fake accounts (the skeptic in me realized it quickly). It was eye opener for sure.

We are constantly bombarded by fake images

We are constantly bombarded at what we think we lack on social media. Our scrolls show flawless skin and bodies. They show us vacations and homes most of us could never attain. I’ve been seeing people filtered and AI images. It happens in a nano second and most people never realize it. No wonder we can feel like crap about ourselves!

What am I going to do? Maybe accept that lunch or girl’s night out. Maybe I will feel self-conscious or say the wrong thing, but I will be real. The introverted- extrovert in me will need to start small. I can’t hide anymore behind these walls and screens I’ve put up anymore.

Baby steps. One step at a time. My accountability starts now!

Questions:

Have you ever “hid” behind social media?

Has social media ever substituted human interactions?

Has the pandemic changed your life socially? Are you working at home, or did you go back into the “office"?

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