"Mom Always Says, Don't Play Ball in the House."

What does a Kintsugi vase and Carol Brady's favorite vase have to do with each other?

An updated article from April 2024.

Words of wisdom from Bobby Brady

If you’re close to my age, I know you remember that episode of the Brady Bunch. It’s a classic. Peter, Greg and Bobby are playing ball in the house after mom warned them not to. Peter throws the football and…...crash! Mom’s favorite vase was broken!

The blame was squarely on Peter, but Greg and Bobby were guilty too. Peter just happened to have an errant throw. The problem was that Peter was going on a camping trip, and if mom found out he broke the vase, there would be no camping trip for him.

What should they do? Should they be honest? Nah, maybe cheap glue would fix it. So, the Brady kids decide to glue the vase back together. They hoped it would dry and mom would never find out. Accidentally foiling their plans, Mr. Brady brought Mrs. Brady flowers, and what better vase to use than Mom’s favorite vase? During dinner the Brady kids watched the vase anxiously. The vase looked OK, but any minute it could crack and leak, and sure enough it did! The broken vase could’ve been fixed with more expensive glue, and maybe it would’ve fooled mom, but inside they would always know it was broken.

It’s kind of like when we have broken parts in ourselves, and we try to fix it like the vase. We can fix it with cheap glue but eventually it will crack. We could turn the broken or damaged part the other way, but eventually it will be seen.

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

It’s exhausting trying to cover up what we think are flaws

I was driving a few months ago and I felt overwhelmed with life. I was so tired of acting as if everything was OK. I was using so much energy trying to cover up my imperfections. There were so many cracks I felt I had within myself. Hiding my anxiety through staying busy, one crack. Overcompensating for my ADHD, more cracks. Self-doubts over my abilities as a parent, wife and a business owner, more cracks. I thought of this, and my life stressors and I pictured the vase falling apart. I saw myself turning the vase one way not to see the cracks, but eventually someone would see the other side.

I pictured myself fixing what I thought was broken with the cheap glue, but eventually it would fall apart, and the pieces would fly everywhere. The cheap glue I’d use to hold it all together could be skimping on sleep to get things done. It could be skipping lunch when I’m short on time. It could load up on caffeine instead of taking a much-needed break. Those things may seem to work temporarily but, eventually I would crack.

Kintsugi vase repair to the rescue!

Maybe we don’t need to hide our brokenness, but instead fill it will gold like a Kintsugi vase repair. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. The gold makes the cracks in the vase beautiful and stronger.

How can we fill our own imperfections with gold? Maybe it would be asking for help during a tough time. Maybe it would be being honest with yourself and giving yourself grace. Maybe it is admitting that you are human, and we all make mistakes. Maybe it is showing your vulnerabilities to others. Maybe it is letting go of what we think our flaws are and embracing them.

We can fill ourselves with whatever gold is to us. The cracks in ourselves will be visible but also more beautiful and stronger and they will tell our story.

What will be your gold?

Questions: Have you ever tried hiding parts of your authentic self?

A few questions for fun. Did you watch The Brady Bunch or have a favorite sitcom as a child? If do did you have favorite episode? A favorite Brady???? Do tell!!!