A Mean Girl Summer

The summer I said goodbye to the Tiffanies and found my Wednesdays

Did you ever have a song that took you back in time? The other day I heard “Funky Town” by LIPPS. No one was home so I belted out the verses the way I did when I was 11. Were the windows open? Who cares!

That song took me back to summer camp when I was 11 years old. I remembered how my “friends” and I would walk around singing it. It was a song for our inclusive group. Tiffany with her long blond hair and dimples led our crew. Her “Heathers” were in the front and meanwhile I was near the back.

“Doot, Doot, Doot, Doot Doot” … we sang along as we paraded around the campus. Adults would smile and look at us and say, “Aww aren't they cute!” The other girls would look at us with envy or so we thought.

How did I get into this “elite” group? My theory was that our parents were all friends as they were on the camp board together. They had no choice but to “accept” me into their group.

I followed them like a puppy for a few days. If I spoke, I’d get comments like “Oh my gosh! Quiet mouse Jane spoke.” They’d laugh and I’d give them the eye. Then they’d say “Oh Jane! We are joking!” I’d laugh it off.

The elite clique had rules

The “Tiffanies” had rules. “Jane, you have to meet Amanda and walk to breakfast with her.” “Jennifer, you and Heather walk together,” and so on.

One day I had my fill of the “Tiffanies.” They were planning an initiation that someone had to do if they started following us. Later that day, I got separated from them when I stopped to tie my shoe. “Wait up!” I said. I was so soft spoken, and they were chattering so loud that no one seemed to notice or care.

Then I realized I didn’t care! I didn’t want to play their games anymore. I met up with another girl that left the group. She was tired of it all too and we became fast friends

Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash

I found my tribe

The following years I found my own way and friends at camp. They were not Tiffanies. They were real. Maybe we were our own group of misfits. I guess it depends on whom you ask. My tribe Kristina, Ginny and I had the most fun. We would laugh so hard our sides would hurt. We were immature, and silly. I could finally be myself. We would be loud and laugh at the wrong times. The best part of it was, we didn’t care!

Bullying was hidden under a guise of cuteness

We felt other adults would give us the glance and shake their heads in disapproval. I felt that, in their eyes, they saw us as “less than”. I could’ve been projecting that myself though. Either way, I see it now for what it was. The Tiffanies were “mean girls”. There was bullying hidden under the guise of cuteness. Maybe the adults saw it, maybe they didn't.

Krista, Ginny and I vowed to be the “in girls” the next year.

We never did become the “In girls” In fact I don’t think there was really an “in” group anymore. The Tiffanies had a drama and they disbanded. A few small post Tiffani groups wandered around camp, but they didn’t have the power anymore. The year after that there was no Tiffani, and I never saw her again. What happened? According to camp gossip, some of Tiffani’s friends became very jealous of her and refused to talk to her. Then the group was no more. Soon everyone forgot about Tiffani, and it was just another summer at camp.

You rocked little Jane!!

I give myself credit for not wanting to be one of the crowd and being brave enough to do my own thing. At a young age I was seeking authentic connections. Little Jane, You Rock! I'm so proud of you!

I’d rather have one true friend than ten that are fake. It’s easy to hide out in a group and it takes much more courage to be yourself.

Questions of the week:

Have you ever tried to be like someone else so you could “fit in”?

Did you have an experience of mean girls (or boys) in your childhood or as an adult?

I’d love it if you’d treat me to a coffee! Thanks for your support