The grief doesn’t totally go away. The pain does ease a bit though. The anniversaries and birthdays are the hardest. My brother, who is now gone 12 years, would have had his 75th birthday tomorrow. No doubt I’m thinking about it. Sad, I guess that’s still grieving, but normally not overly emotional too much anymore. But I think of my sis (2019), mom (1995) and dad (1989) all the time. So much I say to my self, “what if…” or “what would they think about…”. I totally understand where you’re at. I will say dad knows all of what you asked him. He is looking down over you and I’m sure he’d be very pleased with everything. You’re a good, caring, feeling type of person. The world needs so many more like you.
I agree with Kathy. Grief doesn’t go away, but it changes with time, and it comes in waves. The most you can do is try to be the person that would make them proud and honor their memory. In that way, they remain with you always.
It doesn't end. It doesn't get "easier". But it changes. We learn to manage life around grief. And each subsequent loss piles on top, making a sort of Jenga or layer cake of grief we carry around with us.
I feel for you Jane. You had to be young when your parents passed. I was fortunate enough to have my mom for 88 years. She had Colin cancer and I took care of here, in my apartment. I had Hospice come in a couple of times a week for two hours. It had to be the hardest thing I ever had to do but I’m so happy she passed in her bed at home. You were blessed with a good home and wonderful patents. Not everyone had that in life and it stinks they’re gone but they see you, your husband and son, they see how you thrive every day and they’re so happy and proud of you sweetie. 🤗
This is a beautiful letter to your dad, Jane. Hugs
Thanks so much, Rea!
Jane this was lovely. So many mixed feelings and such a palpable love and longing for your dad. Sending you lots of love.
Thanks so much, Gayle. I truly appreciate it.
Beautiful. Thank you.
The grief doesn’t totally go away. The pain does ease a bit though. The anniversaries and birthdays are the hardest. My brother, who is now gone 12 years, would have had his 75th birthday tomorrow. No doubt I’m thinking about it. Sad, I guess that’s still grieving, but normally not overly emotional too much anymore. But I think of my sis (2019), mom (1995) and dad (1989) all the time. So much I say to my self, “what if…” or “what would they think about…”. I totally understand where you’re at. I will say dad knows all of what you asked him. He is looking down over you and I’m sure he’d be very pleased with everything. You’re a good, caring, feeling type of person. The world needs so many more like you.
Thanks so much for your kind words.
I'm so sorry for your losses.
All those special dates seem to bring it back more. For myself any way
Happy heavenly 75th birthday to your brother.
I agree with Kathy. Grief doesn’t go away, but it changes with time, and it comes in waves. The most you can do is try to be the person that would make them proud and honor their memory. In that way, they remain with you always.
Thanks so much, Carole. I hope they are proud. I think they would be.
I think so, too.
It doesn't end. It doesn't get "easier". But it changes. We learn to manage life around grief. And each subsequent loss piles on top, making a sort of Jenga or layer cake of grief we carry around with us.
Each loss does pile up, so true and it gets heavy
That’s when we have to remember something amusing or just plain good about the person, pet, or thing that we lost. :)
Yes! I remember silly things about my dad, like how he was a morning person and would sing as we were waking up. Those memories make me smile
I feel for you Jane. You had to be young when your parents passed. I was fortunate enough to have my mom for 88 years. She had Colin cancer and I took care of here, in my apartment. I had Hospice come in a couple of times a week for two hours. It had to be the hardest thing I ever had to do but I’m so happy she passed in her bed at home. You were blessed with a good home and wonderful patents. Not everyone had that in life and it stinks they’re gone but they see you, your husband and son, they see how you thrive every day and they’re so happy and proud of you sweetie. 🤗
I'm so sorry, Jo- Ann. It's not easy at ant age. I think when they are older, it's difficult because they were in our lives longer.
That's wonderful that she could pass in her own home.
Parents aren't perfect and no childhood is perfect either.
I am blessed for the relationship I had with them. Not perfect, but loved.
I’m
One of 5 sisters. We never had a father. There’s more to the story ….
I'm so sorry, Jennifer.
Oh no. He was very much alive . Married to our mother 35 years. Produced us all. I said …. There’s a story … to be continued …..
Either way it is another kind of grief.
That is true
I'm so sorry for your losses and all of those special days seem to bring it back sometimes.
Happy heavenly 75th birthday to your brother tomorrow!
Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate it!
Thanks for commenting and sharing