I Hurt Myself Today - Raw writing with errors ;)
A mixed ball of emotional, ego and physical pain
It’s been a crappy week. I know it can be worse far worse, yet it still sucked.
My physical pain has now over-taken my emotional anguish of the passing of our dog on Tuesday.
My ego has been damaged too.
I hurt my back yesterday. Not sure how. I was assisting my dog on Tuesday as his body was giving out and he could no longer walk. I was lifting him upstairs, helping him up when he fell. Maybe it was delayed pain. I don’t know. I have knee issues and si joint issues, my hip has been bothering me in the past few weeks.
Yes, I am an old lady. At 56, it is catching up to me as much as I try to run from it. I am not magically aging well as I lie to myself. I am aging.
With my latest eye issue, I am at risk for a detached retina over the next few weeks so no more of my yoga inversions. You know the ones I did that made me feel like Wonder Woman? The ones that made me feel powerful. My fitness routine that took place of some of the physical activity due to bone-on-bone osteoarthritis.
The Glacoma Suspect
I am also at risk for glaucoma due to eye pressure and my optic nerve. I have been for years now. The term “glaucoma suspect” is not new to me. Guess what’s the worst exercise for that? Yep, headstands and inversions.
Yesterday and (and today) I could barely walk. I was simply getting out of a chair and BAM! Excruciating lower back pain. I powered through the rest of my pet sitting visits almost in tears. My ego said I could do it. I was shuffling, like an old lady.
Why am I writing this? Because emotional pain hurts. Physical pain hurts. A bruised ego hurts. They all hurt.
Thanks for listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me something. Rest. Accept help. That is the most difficult for me as I feel it is a sign of weakness. My ego needs to get out of the way for a second though, if I want to heal.
My back hurts and for now I can’t feel the pain of the loss of my dog, but it’s there. Maybe sometimes physical pain is easier to feel.
Help support my work and help treat me to a coffee or advil ;)
Physical and emotional pain can be tethered ! I believe in broken hearts. Ask an MD. It’s true. The loss of your dog can disrupt your health both bodily and mental . Be gentle with yourself .
Jane, I personally believe that physical and emotional pain are related. When I get depressed or overdue things, my body lets me know. It's time to slow down and take better care of myself.