It can be hard at times. You are going well to keep going when you feel like giving up. Be kind to yourself. Rest when you can. Iām over here in awe of you because you can stand on your head! Sending a hug š¤
Yes, I feel the same. Is there something in the air? The water? Are several planets in retrograde? Maybe it's just the pressures of the "holiday season" to be jolly and giving. I think this time of year needs a rebrand - we should stay home and tend to our own tired souls and broken spirits. Better to rest, recharge, and reflect on the past year than throw festive parties and drag ourselves through crowded airports. It's cold and flu season, let's stop packing ourselves into tiny indoor spaces and avoid the spread of illness. I see you Jane. Let's prioritize our own wellbeing, (body, mind and soul), until springtime. XO š„°ā¤ļø
Agree so much Amy. Iām sorry youāve been feeling that way too. This is the time of year we all need to rest - but yet. It is a busy time for me business wise as well. We are wearing ourselves down as humans. Thatās all I have to say
Youāre not alone, but I understand how alone it feels. Thatās the worst part of menopause for me. I keep telling myself itās temporary and the wisdom will be worth it on the other side.
Oh for sure. Emotional, physical, spiritual, hormonal, relational, and moreā¦ itās a lot. And unfortunately we havenāt figured out a way to support this time in a womanās life. I hope by the time the next generation reaches this stage, that there will be more resources and support in place. š
I hope so too. We are a little ahead of the generation before. Letās hope we can continue to pave a way for them. Us talking about it is where the change begins
While I remain fully addicted to exercise and I still love it. I can not do anything like what I used to. But as we get older, we are evolving. We are getting wiser. We are seeing life in a different way. What we lose physically, we gain in knowledge. But, we have to take action on what we are learning. We have to evolve with our knowledge. Most of all, we have to slow down and enjoy the journey more.
When we slow down, we can hear those intuitive nudges from the universe as to what we should do next. What our true purpose in life is. And this, above all else, will bring us a deep sense of fulfilment and contentment. We can not out run it. We really have to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask what we love doing in this world. What brings us joy. And then, do more of that.
We also have to ask why we do what we do. And is it still true for us to keep doing it. Sometimes there is a calling to do something totally different and new.
I remember when I first surrendered to this feeling of being tired. It was very new for me (and this was pretty recent). I see now the 'tiredness' was emanating from a deep place of wisdom that I needed to pay attention to and follow. I'll be curious to see where this all leads you...And beautifully written / expressed, by the way.
I completely understand where you are coming from as a Mom. I try to rejuvenate, but it is so stinking difficult. Iām in the same boat. I tried on glasses yesterday and picked out new frames. Most of the frames I didnāt like because I wondered who the old lady was looking back at me.
Thanks so much, Holly! The view of myself can be distorted depending on the day. I also can take it as a sign that I need to take it easier on myself and rest
What do we do when we are mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted? When such exhaustion has a backlog. But we still have responsibilities to meet? Crises to manage? I've developed a skillset of keeping on, keeping on though the years, especially because there is nobody else to help. Single mom blues give way to single isolated empty nest facing down my 60's broke and alone blues. Needing to prioritize my health comprehensively, I am spending this current winter in a holding pattern of sorts regarding making self care and healing the priority, mostly because I must first locate another place to call home. Downsizing apartments, while on my own, means sifting through tons of memory lane household stuff, as I prepare to eventually effect this move.
What I am noticing is how slowly I am able to move through my tasks. Exhaustion means the lack of energy to do what you must. But do it you must, so I'm also having to accept that my pace is suuuuuper slowwwwed down.
I can relate to every word you wrote. I do relate tiredness somewhat to the season but mostly to all the years, 62 to be exact, that I have kept all the emotions repressed in my body. I did so many things to keep them at bay, mostly spiritual practice, keeping my mind busy so I wouldnāt have to feel so much. Then last night at my adult children of alcoholics meeting, the veil of denial fell down, and I realized, and confessed that I am an adult child of an alcoholic. And even though I did not take up the drink, I suffer as if I did. I have felt some release in my body today and have shed so many tears as the veils keep falling and Iām beginning to feel in my body what it was actually like to live in that deeply dysfunctional home that left me scarred in so many ways. Now with the confession, I am more ready than ever to face my young parts. Iām grieved and relieved and so very very tired. Been sleeping off and on all day.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. There is a veil of denial sometimes. We do store so much in our bodies, so many repressed emotions. I've been working through some in therapy and it takes time. We can spend so many years running from them
I truly appreciate your kind words and stopping by to chat
I feel ya. "Mom to all" really does describe how some of us over give so much that our tanks are left empty. I always say "this will be the year of me" and it never turns out that way. š
I can empathize and feel all of this, Jane. Life is exhausting and add menopause on top of it and it is a fight out of quicksand. Experiencing that for 10 years, there about, and this is the FIRST year I can feel myself rising out of the muck. There was no magic solution to find relief and release, only time, and it always seemed I didn't have a moment to spare. I finally allowed time, or to be honest, my health forced me to take the time to just be 'still', and it helped. The only hope I can share is that there is a coming out of it. Keep doing the things that have always brought you joy and write about it. For me, that kept my spark from completely going out. Many hugs and prayers for you. Many blessings and MUCH LOVE,
Thanks so much Wendy for your kindness. I think being still is the most difficult for me anyway. Exhaustion is what forces me to slow down and then I am frustrated that I canāt push through, if that makes sense. I am a small business owner, itās a busy season, I love it and have more help this year but it still hangs over my head
Slowing down is hard to do, on purpose. I do get the exhaustion hitting and still wanting to press on and the beating ourselves up for losing the stamina we once had. I don't think we ever get a complete handle on that! There is ALWAYS something that 'must' be done. Being an owner of a business doesn't allow much wiggle room, either. Still, if you love what you do, all the easier to keep the drive. Sounds like the extra help has brought a bit of relief from the pressures. Wishing you well through your busy season, Jane, and time for putting your feet up when things slow down. We can not forget to take care of ourselves. Best wishes and warm hugs to you going forward. Deep breaths!
Iāve resisted succumbing to a worrisome lack of energy for seven years. I can cite all kinds of reasons that explain my bone-tirednessāa horrific perimenopause, the onset of my husbandās symptoms from brain injuries as a veteran, the passing of both family dogs and subsequent new pet partners, the realization of deeper insights of past trauma, the betrayal of a narcissistic āfriend,ā and seven years of fighting the VA to recognize my husbandās exposure to (m)TBIs and low-level blasts. Itās Saturday and Monday marks the first VA appointment where we finally get to document them. Of course Iām tired. But this is different. And I suspect not as ābadā as I worry it might be. Iāve become inconsistent and unreliable. Iām practicing accepting that. Iām inconsistent and unreliable because Iām so tired and I know Iām doing my best. Last year I began letting go of āall I do.ā It was a lonely, depressing year. Now, Iām gently gathering my pieces and wondering what I can do with them. Iām going to knit my psyche a warm blanket and cuddle my soma and get to know who I truly am. Thank you for your openness. Women need to talk more about this feeling. Maybe itās a process and itāll be as beautiful as life itself.
Thanks so much, Charli! I appreciate you stopping by to chat and share your story. I'm so sorry you are both going through that. So much. Sending hugs. It's a process. I had 2 very difficult years with multiple losses and those included pets. Pets are family and we grieve them, sometimes more. Take care of yourself and thanks again
Thanks so much, John! I always tell my husband NOT to dye his hair. He turned gray early and it looks great on him. Iād rather see a man not color his hair and not āfor the love of Godā wear a toupee. Weāve earned all of it, but Iām not ready to take plunge myself though with color. Maybe next year or decade
It can be hard at times. You are going well to keep going when you feel like giving up. Be kind to yourself. Rest when you can. Iām over here in awe of you because you can stand on your head! Sending a hug š¤
Thanks so much for your kind words. Iām feeling like a lump today. In awe :) just practice and I needed to step back to change my form, literally
Well youāre quietly inspiring me, Jane āØ
Thanks so much, Trudi! You made my day!
Yes, I feel the same. Is there something in the air? The water? Are several planets in retrograde? Maybe it's just the pressures of the "holiday season" to be jolly and giving. I think this time of year needs a rebrand - we should stay home and tend to our own tired souls and broken spirits. Better to rest, recharge, and reflect on the past year than throw festive parties and drag ourselves through crowded airports. It's cold and flu season, let's stop packing ourselves into tiny indoor spaces and avoid the spread of illness. I see you Jane. Let's prioritize our own wellbeing, (body, mind and soul), until springtime. XO š„°ā¤ļø
Agree so much Amy. Iām sorry youāve been feeling that way too. This is the time of year we all need to rest - but yet. It is a busy time for me business wise as well. We are wearing ourselves down as humans. Thatās all I have to say
Beautiful tender reply Amy! š·
Thank you Lila ā¤ļø
Youāre not alone, but I understand how alone it feels. Thatās the worst part of menopause for me. I keep telling myself itās temporary and the wisdom will be worth it on the other side.
Thanks! Hormones play a key and it's temporary, usually. It's also the mom fatigue, and it's an emotional component there
Oh for sure. Emotional, physical, spiritual, hormonal, relational, and moreā¦ itās a lot. And unfortunately we havenāt figured out a way to support this time in a womanās life. I hope by the time the next generation reaches this stage, that there will be more resources and support in place. š
I hope so too. We are a little ahead of the generation before. Letās hope we can continue to pave a way for them. Us talking about it is where the change begins
While I remain fully addicted to exercise and I still love it. I can not do anything like what I used to. But as we get older, we are evolving. We are getting wiser. We are seeing life in a different way. What we lose physically, we gain in knowledge. But, we have to take action on what we are learning. We have to evolve with our knowledge. Most of all, we have to slow down and enjoy the journey more.
When we slow down, we can hear those intuitive nudges from the universe as to what we should do next. What our true purpose in life is. And this, above all else, will bring us a deep sense of fulfilment and contentment. We can not out run it. We really have to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask what we love doing in this world. What brings us joy. And then, do more of that.
We also have to ask why we do what we do. And is it still true for us to keep doing it. Sometimes there is a calling to do something totally different and new.
Sending you lots of love as always.
So true, Colin! I appreciate your comments and insight as always. Happy Saturday!
I remember when I first surrendered to this feeling of being tired. It was very new for me (and this was pretty recent). I see now the 'tiredness' was emanating from a deep place of wisdom that I needed to pay attention to and follow. I'll be curious to see where this all leads you...And beautifully written / expressed, by the way.
Thanks so much for commenting and stopping by to read. I truly appreciate you
I have been feeling empty and drained.I have had to rest and be by myself.l am okay now.l hope you are to.ā„ļøx
Thanks so much. Iām glad your feeling better. Iām doing ok at the moment
I completely understand where you are coming from as a Mom. I try to rejuvenate, but it is so stinking difficult. Iām in the same boat. I tried on glasses yesterday and picked out new frames. Most of the frames I didnāt like because I wondered who the old lady was looking back at me.
I hear you. The invisible load of motherhood. I donāt recognize myself most days, Iām like -whoās that?
My youngest turns 18 in 10 years. I can make it that long and then I am doing what I want.
Mine is 17 and there are different worries. I think they always are your babies and you always worry about them
Youāre looking at your reflection on one of those fun house mirrors. Hormones are distorting.
I see a strong capable woman who shows up for her friends family and substack community every day.
Thanks so much, Holly! The view of myself can be distorted depending on the day. I also can take it as a sign that I need to take it easier on myself and rest
Iām right there with you, Jane. ā¤ļø
What do we do when we are mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted? When such exhaustion has a backlog. But we still have responsibilities to meet? Crises to manage? I've developed a skillset of keeping on, keeping on though the years, especially because there is nobody else to help. Single mom blues give way to single isolated empty nest facing down my 60's broke and alone blues. Needing to prioritize my health comprehensively, I am spending this current winter in a holding pattern of sorts regarding making self care and healing the priority, mostly because I must first locate another place to call home. Downsizing apartments, while on my own, means sifting through tons of memory lane household stuff, as I prepare to eventually effect this move.
What I am noticing is how slowly I am able to move through my tasks. Exhaustion means the lack of energy to do what you must. But do it you must, so I'm also having to accept that my pace is suuuuuper slowwwwed down.
Just hope I'll be ready when I need to be.
Thanks so much for sharing, Pamela
I can relate to every word you wrote. I do relate tiredness somewhat to the season but mostly to all the years, 62 to be exact, that I have kept all the emotions repressed in my body. I did so many things to keep them at bay, mostly spiritual practice, keeping my mind busy so I wouldnāt have to feel so much. Then last night at my adult children of alcoholics meeting, the veil of denial fell down, and I realized, and confessed that I am an adult child of an alcoholic. And even though I did not take up the drink, I suffer as if I did. I have felt some release in my body today and have shed so many tears as the veils keep falling and Iām beginning to feel in my body what it was actually like to live in that deeply dysfunctional home that left me scarred in so many ways. Now with the confession, I am more ready than ever to face my young parts. Iām grieved and relieved and so very very tired. Been sleeping off and on all day.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. There is a veil of denial sometimes. We do store so much in our bodies, so many repressed emotions. I've been working through some in therapy and it takes time. We can spend so many years running from them
I truly appreciate your kind words and stopping by to chat
I feel ya. "Mom to all" really does describe how some of us over give so much that our tanks are left empty. I always say "this will be the year of me" and it never turns out that way. š
Yes!!! All we can do is try. Usually, I have to almost drop in exhaustion and or get sick for this to happen.
I can empathize and feel all of this, Jane. Life is exhausting and add menopause on top of it and it is a fight out of quicksand. Experiencing that for 10 years, there about, and this is the FIRST year I can feel myself rising out of the muck. There was no magic solution to find relief and release, only time, and it always seemed I didn't have a moment to spare. I finally allowed time, or to be honest, my health forced me to take the time to just be 'still', and it helped. The only hope I can share is that there is a coming out of it. Keep doing the things that have always brought you joy and write about it. For me, that kept my spark from completely going out. Many hugs and prayers for you. Many blessings and MUCH LOVE,
~Wendyš
Thanks so much Wendy for your kindness. I think being still is the most difficult for me anyway. Exhaustion is what forces me to slow down and then I am frustrated that I canāt push through, if that makes sense. I am a small business owner, itās a busy season, I love it and have more help this year but it still hangs over my head
Slowing down is hard to do, on purpose. I do get the exhaustion hitting and still wanting to press on and the beating ourselves up for losing the stamina we once had. I don't think we ever get a complete handle on that! There is ALWAYS something that 'must' be done. Being an owner of a business doesn't allow much wiggle room, either. Still, if you love what you do, all the easier to keep the drive. Sounds like the extra help has brought a bit of relief from the pressures. Wishing you well through your busy season, Jane, and time for putting your feet up when things slow down. We can not forget to take care of ourselves. Best wishes and warm hugs to you going forward. Deep breaths!
Many blessings and MUCH LOVE,
~Wendyš
Iāve resisted succumbing to a worrisome lack of energy for seven years. I can cite all kinds of reasons that explain my bone-tirednessāa horrific perimenopause, the onset of my husbandās symptoms from brain injuries as a veteran, the passing of both family dogs and subsequent new pet partners, the realization of deeper insights of past trauma, the betrayal of a narcissistic āfriend,ā and seven years of fighting the VA to recognize my husbandās exposure to (m)TBIs and low-level blasts. Itās Saturday and Monday marks the first VA appointment where we finally get to document them. Of course Iām tired. But this is different. And I suspect not as ābadā as I worry it might be. Iāve become inconsistent and unreliable. Iām practicing accepting that. Iām inconsistent and unreliable because Iām so tired and I know Iām doing my best. Last year I began letting go of āall I do.ā It was a lonely, depressing year. Now, Iām gently gathering my pieces and wondering what I can do with them. Iām going to knit my psyche a warm blanket and cuddle my soma and get to know who I truly am. Thank you for your openness. Women need to talk more about this feeling. Maybe itās a process and itāll be as beautiful as life itself.
Thanks so much, Charli! I appreciate you stopping by to chat and share your story. I'm so sorry you are both going through that. So much. Sending hugs. It's a process. I had 2 very difficult years with multiple losses and those included pets. Pets are family and we grieve them, sometimes more. Take care of yourself and thanks again
Yes, pets are family and often containers for a period of time. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Kristin :)
Thanks so much, John! I always tell my husband NOT to dye his hair. He turned gray early and it looks great on him. Iād rather see a man not color his hair and not āfor the love of Godā wear a toupee. Weāve earned all of it, but Iām not ready to take plunge myself though with color. Maybe next year or decade
I love the acceptance of, āIāll grow into who I am.ā