While my entire high school class was criticized as "worst" in terms of being friends with one another/inclusive (girls only school, circa late 90s), I don't think there really were any "Tiffanies" or "Brooke" or whatever types. Okay, one girl (let's call her Jen (not her real name, but Jen(nifer) was very common for my era) called me "white washed" because I was not into Cantopop like most of the Asian (almost all from Hong Kong or had Hong Kong roots...not really unusual at a school like my alma mater) girls, but no one else REALLY thought I was too weird, despite my love for country music and musical theatre! Or the fact that I had gawdawful skin (only one other girl had a worse acne issue than I did). I practically LIVED on OXY pads and 10-0-6 astringent! Looking back, those things probably did MORE harm to my face than it was suppose to help. My skin issues extended beyond high school and into my early 20s :(. But maybe my neurodivergent self just didn't notice other than what Jen said.
Lots of Jennifers and Heathers (Like the move Heathers) in my Era too! By high school it didn't matter if you were a Jen, Heather or Tiffani and I became my own person and that's what stood out. My community was.. well not diverse and you had to kind of fit into a box. It still is that way, but improved
"Diverse" can mean a lot of different things. At my school back then, you were pretty much either White or Asian. But once you dissect it, especially for the White students, you're going to get a lot of different cultures represented. Not everyone was full on WASP (there were a few Italians/part Italian, Ukrainian and other Eastern European groups). Asian students were mostly HK Chinese (and some were of Indian heritage). I'm pretty sure at least half of families at the school have been in Canada for three generations or less. But that's Toronto for ya.
My “Tiffani’s” were the “Morgans”. Three of them to be precise. I ran into one of them as an adult and immediately felt as small and insecure as I did when I was 14. I’ve adopted a mantra whenever those feelings rear their ugly head: Her success has nothing to do with my success. Her looks have nothing to do with my looks… It can apply to anything and helps me be proud of myself in my moments of teen-like shame. Thank you for writing this Jane! 💛
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. It seems like we all have a Tiffani or Morgans in our lives at some point! Sometimes they don't go away or maybe I am the one that makes then exist. Does that make sense?
Yeah, where did it all start?! It started young for me also. But I was jealous of the Tiffinay’s and the Brookes (Brooke Shields and her beautiful brown long hair). Comparison is hard to navigate, isn’t it?
Right! Don't forget Farrah too!! My mom cut my fine brown hair boyishly short. Maybe that's why I had hair envy as a preteen. That pixie cut was in, but no fun if you dressed like a tomboy as a child like I did
Yeah, I had the short haircut going into a new school my 4th grade year. Was givin black skates because I looked like a boy. Back then boys got black always and girls got the white skates. So embarrassing
While my entire high school class was criticized as "worst" in terms of being friends with one another/inclusive (girls only school, circa late 90s), I don't think there really were any "Tiffanies" or "Brooke" or whatever types. Okay, one girl (let's call her Jen (not her real name, but Jen(nifer) was very common for my era) called me "white washed" because I was not into Cantopop like most of the Asian (almost all from Hong Kong or had Hong Kong roots...not really unusual at a school like my alma mater) girls, but no one else REALLY thought I was too weird, despite my love for country music and musical theatre! Or the fact that I had gawdawful skin (only one other girl had a worse acne issue than I did). I practically LIVED on OXY pads and 10-0-6 astringent! Looking back, those things probably did MORE harm to my face than it was suppose to help. My skin issues extended beyond high school and into my early 20s :(. But maybe my neurodivergent self just didn't notice other than what Jen said.
Lots of Jennifers and Heathers (Like the move Heathers) in my Era too! By high school it didn't matter if you were a Jen, Heather or Tiffani and I became my own person and that's what stood out. My community was.. well not diverse and you had to kind of fit into a box. It still is that way, but improved
"Diverse" can mean a lot of different things. At my school back then, you were pretty much either White or Asian. But once you dissect it, especially for the White students, you're going to get a lot of different cultures represented. Not everyone was full on WASP (there were a few Italians/part Italian, Ukrainian and other Eastern European groups). Asian students were mostly HK Chinese (and some were of Indian heritage). I'm pretty sure at least half of families at the school have been in Canada for three generations or less. But that's Toronto for ya.
My “Tiffani’s” were the “Morgans”. Three of them to be precise. I ran into one of them as an adult and immediately felt as small and insecure as I did when I was 14. I’ve adopted a mantra whenever those feelings rear their ugly head: Her success has nothing to do with my success. Her looks have nothing to do with my looks… It can apply to anything and helps me be proud of myself in my moments of teen-like shame. Thank you for writing this Jane! 💛
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. It seems like we all have a Tiffani or Morgans in our lives at some point! Sometimes they don't go away or maybe I am the one that makes then exist. Does that make sense?
Yeah, where did it all start?! It started young for me also. But I was jealous of the Tiffinay’s and the Brookes (Brooke Shields and her beautiful brown long hair). Comparison is hard to navigate, isn’t it?
Right! Don't forget Farrah too!! My mom cut my fine brown hair boyishly short. Maybe that's why I had hair envy as a preteen. That pixie cut was in, but no fun if you dressed like a tomboy as a child like I did
Yeah, I had the short haircut going into a new school my 4th grade year. Was givin black skates because I looked like a boy. Back then boys got black always and girls got the white skates. So embarrassing
Yes! I remember those skates. I had the brown ones :(
“I think giving gratitude to what’s in front of us is a start.”
I couldn’t agree more.