Middle child with an older brother here, Jane! I am different from my siblings. I even look different, favoring my father's genes over my mom's. I'm more easygoing. I avoid conflict. I have to say I wasn't in a hurry to move out.
Eldest in a way. Though middle as well as I had a sister who passed before I was born. And I find I have characteristics of both. Tendency to want to lead and achieve, but also very empathetic and tending towards introversion.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your sister. I think it's interesting how can encompass many of the characteristic of all birth orders but lean more towards one. Thanks for reading, and restacking
It’s funny, I don’t even think of it as my loss. My mother is definitely but not mine.
It’s interesting, I’ve heard that often the soul of a child who passes early in life comes back in the next child.. and I do wonder if that was the case with us. I like to think that it’s true.
Jane, I hadn't considered birth order as a factor in personality before this! I'm not sure where I fit. There's a ten-year gap between me (and 15 to my brothers) and my older sister and a five-year gap between me and my younger sister. Technically, I might be a middle child, but I have the characteristics of the oldest child, perhaps because I was first after a long gap. Thanks for this info!
This is interesting. I’m the eldest and this totally fits. I was always told I should be a good example to my younger brother and sister. I was quite a bit older. 7 years older than my brother and 10 than my sister.
It fits my sister too as the youngest but not my brother, who quite honestly has always been a loner and a bit strange. 😳
My sister was the eldest too and I see so many of those characteristics for her. She is 5 years older than me and 9 years than my brother. She always looked out for us.
Oldest seem to be a leader. That's a great quality to have. Caregiver. I have some of that as a middle child. My mom had illnesses when I was growing up and my sister got very sick a few times when I was young. I'm not if that came into play
Yes! Same! I knew I was polar opposite than my sister. My sister was the smart good, student. It's almost like you need to do that to carve your own way. It's not always a bad thing. I think it's good thing
I agree! My sisters were readers, I refused to read. I went the cheerleader route, but how do you like me now, writing a memoir? Guess what? They don’t like it one bit. And they have no interest in my Substack. Their loss.
I find that with certain family members too. It's hard because you want to share with the people closest to you and have them be proud of you. That stinks. Congrats on your memoir!
My husband and I are from larger families. He is the youngest of 5 and I am middle of 3. I used to wonder what it would be like to be an only child, but I'm thankful for having both. We never thought we would just have one. It's the way it worked out. You are doing great. I am sensitive and the middle child, maybe not a birth order thing
Only with an only! I had trouble sharing when I was a kid while my son is the opposite. He’s super-agreeable and that kind of freaks me out (he might run with the wrong crowd when he gets older)!
My son is an only and pretty agreeable and generous at times. Less agreeable with us at times lol. He's not a follower and isn't easily swayed though. It's hard to tell
Our son is an only child. I always felt bad that he didn't have another sibling. He didn't seem to notice though, he would tell others that he liked being an only child. Maybe this was because he noticed his friend fighting with siblings. He is close to his cousin who is also an only. Did you have a cousin or a friend that became like a brother to you?
Yay another middle! Lots showing up here. I think when we have a older sibling of same gender we tend to have more middle child characteristics. I am the same with avoiding conflict. I hate it too
Thanks responding! I feel like I can relate to all of the characteristics of a middle child as well. I'm not starting to look at the positives. I feel like there was so much negative information with middles. I've told people I was a middle child when asked birth order years ago. I'd be met with a pause and an "Oh" many times. I even had someone say to me "oh middle children are insecure blah blah blah" Really?! Have you noticed that?
Middle child with an older brother here, Jane! I am different from my siblings. I even look different, favoring my father's genes over my mom's. I'm more easygoing. I avoid conflict. I have to say I wasn't in a hurry to move out.
Eldest in a way. Though middle as well as I had a sister who passed before I was born. And I find I have characteristics of both. Tendency to want to lead and achieve, but also very empathetic and tending towards introversion.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your sister. I think it's interesting how can encompass many of the characteristic of all birth orders but lean more towards one. Thanks for reading, and restacking
It’s funny, I don’t even think of it as my loss. My mother is definitely but not mine.
It’s interesting, I’ve heard that often the soul of a child who passes early in life comes back in the next child.. and I do wonder if that was the case with us. I like to think that it’s true.
I wonder if that's true. I like to believe it is. How beautiful
Jane, I hadn't considered birth order as a factor in personality before this! I'm not sure where I fit. There's a ten-year gap between me (and 15 to my brothers) and my older sister and a five-year gap between me and my younger sister. Technically, I might be a middle child, but I have the characteristics of the oldest child, perhaps because I was first after a long gap. Thanks for this info!
I think age gap plays a huge part too. It's so interesting. Thanks for sharing your experience
This is interesting. I’m the eldest and this totally fits. I was always told I should be a good example to my younger brother and sister. I was quite a bit older. 7 years older than my brother and 10 than my sister.
It fits my sister too as the youngest but not my brother, who quite honestly has always been a loner and a bit strange. 😳
My sister was the eldest too and I see so many of those characteristics for her. She is 5 years older than me and 9 years than my brother. She always looked out for us.
I'm an oldest. Leader, (recovering) perfectionist, care giver, yes, yes, and yes.
Oldest seem to be a leader. That's a great quality to have. Caregiver. I have some of that as a middle child. My mom had illnesses when I was growing up and my sister got very sick a few times when I was young. I'm not if that came into play
Middle child here, people pleaser, empathetic, trying to be different from the other 5 siblings.
Yes! Same! I knew I was polar opposite than my sister. My sister was the smart good, student. It's almost like you need to do that to carve your own way. It's not always a bad thing. I think it's good thing
I agree! My sisters were readers, I refused to read. I went the cheerleader route, but how do you like me now, writing a memoir? Guess what? They don’t like it one bit. And they have no interest in my Substack. Their loss.
I find that with certain family members too. It's hard because you want to share with the people closest to you and have them be proud of you. That stinks. Congrats on your memoir!
Thanks, Jane. I enjoy chatting with you.
I enjoy chatting with you too Wendy! Thanks for being here
Only here! Overly sensitive, driven to achieve, need quiet time. I had an only child-she hated being an only so she had Two!
My husband and I are from larger families. He is the youngest of 5 and I am middle of 3. I used to wonder what it would be like to be an only child, but I'm thankful for having both. We never thought we would just have one. It's the way it worked out. You are doing great. I am sensitive and the middle child, maybe not a birth order thing
Only with an only! I had trouble sharing when I was a kid while my son is the opposite. He’s super-agreeable and that kind of freaks me out (he might run with the wrong crowd when he gets older)!
My son is an only and pretty agreeable and generous at times. Less agreeable with us at times lol. He's not a follower and isn't easily swayed though. It's hard to tell
Yes, as another middle child, I find the referenced characteristics to be true. (Sometimes unfortunately so!)
I think I answered to myself earlier 🤦♀️. I agree I relate to all of them
First, middle, and last here!
Yup, only child, wished for siblings as I grew up, but learned to entertain myself instead.
Our son is an only child. I always felt bad that he didn't have another sibling. He didn't seem to notice though, he would tell others that he liked being an only child. Maybe this was because he noticed his friend fighting with siblings. He is close to his cousin who is also an only. Did you have a cousin or a friend that became like a brother to you?
I did have cousins and I made friends very easily. I was fine.
It seems like only children are naturally social and make friends easily, yet enjoy time alone. A good balance
Yay another middle! Lots showing up here. I think when we have a older sibling of same gender we tend to have more middle child characteristics. I am the same with avoiding conflict. I hate it too
Thanks responding! I feel like I can relate to all of the characteristics of a middle child as well. I'm not starting to look at the positives. I feel like there was so much negative information with middles. I've told people I was a middle child when asked birth order years ago. I'd be met with a pause and an "Oh" many times. I even had someone say to me "oh middle children are insecure blah blah blah" Really?! Have you noticed that?
That's a big age difference. I've heard there isn't sibling rivalry though with a larger age gap. Do you find that true with your brother?