Where do I Rank?
The trap of counting subscribers and likes
Where do I rank as a writer? I know I’m not for everyone.
I am honored for those who choose to follow me and comments on my posts. I am grateful beyond words for my free and paid subscribers.
I notice my numbers going up and down and once again I question my end game plan.
Why?
Is it because I’m sinking into the Substack Notes trap again? Why should I care if someone gets 2k likes from a post borrowed from a poet, yet my own words get unnoticed? Yet, I care.
This is exactly what they want. Here and on all social media platforms. So many of us are searching not only validation but connection. It’s all about searching for elusive connection in this disconnected world. They know that!
We search for connection behind our screens. I am. I know this and FUCK, I don’t listen to my own advice.
Am I in a liminal space - again?
Am I reaching limbo once again? Is this signaling a time for growth? I’m at a point where I’m wondering what is next for everything. Do I need more time to navigate the direction I’m going in?
Writing here on Substack
As a writer here on Substack I started this as a platform for my writing. I was and am in a continuing part of transition and transformation. I’ve noticed some of my articles getting more likes and more engagements. Then I notice unsubscribes. I still wonder if I’m enough and when the other shoe will drop. Then I compare. I usually don’t or haven’t been comparing to other writers, but it’s something I started to do once again. For a moment it makes me feel like a suck and why bother posting at all. Then I remind myself of why I write.
**NOTE: This is a “revamped article from last spring” since then I’ve noticed a drop in likes on all of my posts especially poetry - I used to average around 30 - 40 and now I’m lucky to get half that**
Why do I write?
I write because I’ve written my whole life.
I write because I need to.
I write because it is freeing.
I write and have always written for myself.
Where will my writing take me next?
What is my game plan? Is there more for me here on Substack? Can I supplement a living from this in addition to my pet sitting business? The hard truth is probably not. I see so many talented writers, artists that will probably never make it. Yet, they influence us every day.
I’m not sure what’s in store for me but I’ll figure it out. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.
I’ve noticed no matter how many subscribers I get, the number who seem to read my writing stays constant.
But I write for myself, and to get 100-200 people regularly reading what I write is so beyond my expectations that I just have to sit back and marvel. If they all crowded into a bookstore to hear me read, I’d be overwhelmed!
It’s a way of looking at the part of the glass that is full.
Jane, FWIW in my humble opinion, I love to read most everything you write on here. It's honest and open and super-creative. It brings joy.
As for your last question about my "why" - I think of Substack like a sandbox where I'm playing with my friends. I don't intend to make my living on it. If people want to tip or subscribe, awesome. I'll send free books and such to reciprocate. But it's a sandbox where I can test myself as a writer to use in other formats as my main "gig". I know for sure that as I'm starting my fiction book (my 1st in that genre) my time on Substack has helped expand my curiosity.
Hope y'all have a great weekend!