It can be an eye-opening experience. I think you discover how ordinary people are. You’ll find yourself comparing the person who knew back then to who they appear to be now. You should go to your reunion. Listen to the people. See how they’ve changed—if they’ve changed.
Those are good points. I feel like I see so much on social media now, but I am seeing their best moments. Our class reunions combine several years now and they are lucky to have 20 attend. It's a big school as well. We do have mini reunions a few times a year and I could go since I moved back to where I grew up. I choose not to go. I have my own mini reunions though with classmates I choose to see.
The reunion this year will be the first since I returned to my hometown in late 2016. A group of class graduates has been gathering monthly for several years now, and I sometimes attend those get-togethers, though the numbers have dwindled over the years. The group does maintain a site on FaceBook which provides members a platform for communications, but I left FB years ago.
Beautiful post, Jane! Life passages like this are always so emotional. Reminds me of this moment from last year, when my college-graduating daughter had the honor of being a guest conductor at her alma mater.
I just came across a picture of me and four girlfriends on graduation day. One of them passed away about 10 years ago. Another has not been seen or heard from since 1978 when we graduated. The rest of us are friends on Facebook lol.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I think we are more connected to a way with people we normally wouldn't see through social media. It is easier to set up class reunions that way instead of snail mail. Not everyone is on social media though
I was looking at the photo, and she had her arm around my shoulders! I knew her since first grade and we remained friends right up until she passed back in 2016 or thereabouts. She had the biggest smile on her face in that photo! Also, we had the same first name.
I'm so sorry, Kathy! It's so hard losing a friend, especially a childhood friend. That's wonderful that you have that picture of you together. It's a special memory to have ❤️
Class of 1969. Marymount HS. BelAir CA. 60 plus young women. Long light blue dresses. Holding a dozen roses. One by one curtsied to the Cardinal. Looked forward to dinner in the Cocoanut Grove in the Ambassador Hotel( where RFK was assassinated . ) my date . That’s another story.
Actually. Not fancy. It’s traditional at Marymount and all Private schools in Los Angeles. Looking back it was a privilege but our class not elitists . Some of my friends parents famous and wealthy . Never mentioned. We wore uniforms. No makeup. Long hair. Defied the nuns and smoked some weed before French class at 735.
I think every parent out there is going to be able to relate to this piece, Jane. I certainly did. It was just a few weeks ago that I was sitting at my youngest's graduation from college and thinking the very same thing - where did the time go? And like you, I want so desperately to slow things down - to live in the moment - but it's such a hard thing to do. Congratulations to you and to your son. Here's to trying to take these next few months day by day and enjoy the small, quiet moments. All we can do is try!
I left high school a year early for community college, but I came back for graduation anyway. In the year that had passed, I had grown up a lot and had learned from older students what real life was going to be like. It was nice to see old friends again, as it was when I went back for reunions, but I’ve never been sentimental for the good old days. There were struggles as well as victories in those years, like the ones that came after. A good third of my high school class is already deceased, so I feel grateful to have survived this long!
We change so much from high school sometimes with in a year or so. Wow a 1/3 of your classmates. That's a lot! They had to be very young. We have lost a few and I'm sure some I don't even know have passed. One girl passed away only a week after graduation in a car accident. Another a few years ago that was a friend of my husband and I. It's so tough and it makes you realize how fast time goes. I wish there were pause, rewind and even fast forward buttons sometimes ;)
You have no idea how fast time goes. I have watched not only two children graduate, make their way in the world, fall in love and have their own children , but the first of my two grandsons is in his second year of college (and in the UK, the course is three years), with the second not far behind. Indeed, the first is already involved in a very serious relationship. Yesterday was our 63rd wedding anniversary. Tempus fugit. .I wrote very recently about all the decisions that get made along the way. See https://arichardson.substack.com/p/counterfactuals-or-a-sliding-doors
The images you describe are poweful, Jane. Does your son plan to study filmmaking? What a wonderful keepsake (the movie is) for you and your husband. I graduated from high school in 1973, at age 17. 53 years ago. How can it be? I could cry, but today I feel I have soooo much to be grateful for that I really don’t feel like crying at the moment. 🥰
Thanks so much, Deanne. Our son will be going to collge for communications as a major. The school has a studio and wonderful program in that area.
We will appreciate that more and more over the years. He also helped to run a student podcast and was a news and weather anchor. The one that got me the most was when they were talking about their future plans.
I do remember mine I was thinking of it recently. I just remember being Riddled with anxiety and wanting to flee from where I was as quickly as possible
But onward and upward on how far it's come and grateful for the lessons.
My son is 21 and working , and my daughter is rising Sophomore at college I cannot believe how fast it's gone by .
There is anxiety under it all and grief. Childhood is over. I am excited to see the person he will become yet anxious at the same time if that makes sense?
It sounds like your son and daughter are doing well. Was the transition year for either one of them a challenge?
High school was not my son’s Jam. And we moved internationally during Covid and a few other things- so we ended up online homeschooling him- to graduation- tried online college- didn’t work out- he’s finding his footing- loves pets! Pet sits and works at a pet store loves it
Daughter academically loves it and loves Uni. Each kid is so different and that’s a beautiful thing !!
What I have found is there is no rush- especially today with the price of housing - god knows it has stopped all of us in our tracks (my family of origin ) it’s insane how quickly rent goes up or money runs out.
So slower is better and less is more in terms of the stress - that’s what I hope we r teaching kids -❤️
The Covid years were so difficult especially for student. My son was in middle school when the pandemic started. He did cyber school the following year because his school had hybrid 2 days a week. Not sure if I'd make the same decision again. He needs to be with people.
That's awesome with your son is working with animals and pet sitting. I think we all find our own thing
Each child is so different that's for sure.
I never did well academically due to undiagnosed ADHD but I found my way. Still a struggle.
The price of housing is crazy. I have no idea how anyone can afford anything, especially the younger generations.
I know many who's adult children are living at home. It's becoming more common
We were supposed to have our 50th anniversary in 2020 but we had to cancel. The small town we all went to school throws a reunion every year. The school has since closed but we all try to get together at least once a year.
Spoken like a Mom whose son just graduated. Sit in the moment, reflect, and recognize that life is shifting. All things you seem to be doing. This is an adjustment, but life will pick up again. Beware of "soiling the nest" behaviors that help him to become an independent man, but pulls on a mother's heart strings. The summer before my twins headed off to college was hard, but with each year it's gotten easier.
I have an article coming out in The Midst soon that answers some of your questions so won't steal my own thunder here, but I will say I went into the career I knew in high school was for me (healthcare) and I still love it.
I remember my High School graduation like it was yesterday. I was a little sad because I didn’t want the time to end. I remember being in the gym lobby after (gym being where ceremony was held) talking with one of my uncles. He asked me how it felt, and I told him I was a little sad it was over. He was shocked and asked why. It was simple. I loved my high school years and the thought of the real world was scary as hell.
Believe it or not, my goal was transportation all along. After graduation, my time spend at University of Illinois Chicago (which was a disaster), my major was to be, “Urban Systems Engineering”. I never got close. College and me just didn’t work. I did go back a little later at a junior college, and worked on an accounting degree for a little bit, but went to work for the railroad and that took care of that.
I went to one reunion. I believe it was the 10 year. I found the jocks (I was not one) turned out to be just normal people. No real egos, no attitudes and discussions brought out some good memories. Every one seemed to be on equal footing. I was surprised about that, but at the same time, it felt great.
High school wasn't bad for me at all either. I missed parts of it. My son is the same way and even more so.
I feel like this area is cliquish though especially with baseball is something we were known for. It started way back in elementary school. Parents trying to relive their youth maybe and still do? He didn't stay in it long. There was a lot of politics around it. It's one thing I don't like about this area, lack of diversity too.
That's awesome that you knew what to do back in high school
People do change. I know I have.
Thanks so much for sharing your high school memories and more of your story. It's always so interesting to hear.
Wonderful piece indeed. I remember my graduation...something out of "Welcome to the Jungle." We were unruly to say the least :). Here's my very best memory of high school as it applies to life today: I had an English teacher who had recently transitioned from being a newspaper reporter - I used to read her byline. She was like a rock star to me. She told 17 year-old me that I really could do this writing thing if I wanted. A professional wordsmith telling me I was worthy...gosh.
Congratulations on your grad! And thanks for cueing up this memory.
Welcome to the Jungle. Too funny! High School can be a jungle for sure. The right teacher can influence us for life. I had an English teacher too that encouraged my writing. Teachers really do make a difference.
Oh....my my... the time flies! 1977 was so long ago...I was set to be a wife and mother. Ended up alone for many years... I did not get to see my sons graduate.... And now they are both i. Their 40's. And I yearn for grandchildren that will never come.
I was a wall flower in high school...never dated...and had few friends.
Time really does fly. I think when we are younger we think time is infinite, you know?
There are so many changes we go through after high school. I felt like a wallflower in middle school so I know that feeling. Those teen years can be so tough.
Thanks so much, Diana for taking the time to read and comment and sharing your experiences.
Great article! Yes, I remember my high school graduation so fondly. I felt like I could do anything! My plans were to rule the world. My biggest surprise was that this is extremely tiring. Now I just want to be happy.🫶🏽
Thanks so much. We can feel invincible at that age. It’s funny you said rule the world. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” was one of the songs in the class video.
Happiness. I hear you. That is something you can’t put a price tag on.
My 60th High School reunion is scheduled for September 2026. I know where all the time went. I’m just happy I made it this far 🤞
What?? 60 year reunion?? I wouldn’t of guessed. My 40th will be next year and I can't believe it. Have you been to your high school reunions?
I attended the 20th, 25th, & 50th. First two with my then-wife. Last alone. We had about 550 graduates but time takes its toll.
Oh wow! What did you find the biggest changes were? I've always been curious. I haven't been to a single reunion.
It can be an eye-opening experience. I think you discover how ordinary people are. You’ll find yourself comparing the person who knew back then to who they appear to be now. You should go to your reunion. Listen to the people. See how they’ve changed—if they’ve changed.
Those are good points. I feel like I see so much on social media now, but I am seeing their best moments. Our class reunions combine several years now and they are lucky to have 20 attend. It's a big school as well. We do have mini reunions a few times a year and I could go since I moved back to where I grew up. I choose not to go. I have my own mini reunions though with classmates I choose to see.
The reunion this year will be the first since I returned to my hometown in late 2016. A group of class graduates has been gathering monthly for several years now, and I sometimes attend those get-togethers, though the numbers have dwindled over the years. The group does maintain a site on FaceBook which provides members a platform for communications, but I left FB years ago.
Beautiful post, Jane! Life passages like this are always so emotional. Reminds me of this moment from last year, when my college-graduating daughter had the honor of being a guest conductor at her alma mater.
https://substack.com/@theeverydaymystic/note/c-115316906?r=1migu6&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing, Aaron!
Sending love. With you on the passage of time. Good job to your son. Congrats.
Thanks so much, Holly!
I just came across a picture of me and four girlfriends on graduation day. One of them passed away about 10 years ago. Another has not been seen or heard from since 1978 when we graduated. The rest of us are friends on Facebook lol.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I think we are more connected to a way with people we normally wouldn't see through social media. It is easier to set up class reunions that way instead of snail mail. Not everyone is on social media though
I was looking at the photo, and she had her arm around my shoulders! I knew her since first grade and we remained friends right up until she passed back in 2016 or thereabouts. She had the biggest smile on her face in that photo! Also, we had the same first name.
I'm so sorry, Kathy! It's so hard losing a friend, especially a childhood friend. That's wonderful that you have that picture of you together. It's a special memory to have ❤️
Class of 1969. Marymount HS. BelAir CA. 60 plus young women. Long light blue dresses. Holding a dozen roses. One by one curtsied to the Cardinal. Looked forward to dinner in the Cocoanut Grove in the Ambassador Hotel( where RFK was assassinated . ) my date . That’s another story.
Oh wow! Fancy and I'm sure memorable too. Thanks for sharing and commenting Jennifer. I appreciate it!
Which one is you?
Actually. Not fancy. It’s traditional at Marymount and all Private schools in Los Angeles. Looking back it was a privilege but our class not elitists . Some of my friends parents famous and wealthy . Never mentioned. We wore uniforms. No makeup. Long hair. Defied the nuns and smoked some weed before French class at 735.
I think every parent out there is going to be able to relate to this piece, Jane. I certainly did. It was just a few weeks ago that I was sitting at my youngest's graduation from college and thinking the very same thing - where did the time go? And like you, I want so desperately to slow things down - to live in the moment - but it's such a hard thing to do. Congratulations to you and to your son. Here's to trying to take these next few months day by day and enjoy the small, quiet moments. All we can do is try!
Thanks, Laurie. I feel much differently than I thought I would. It's disorienting in a way.
It takes time I guess
I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. It helps to know I'm not alone in this.
Of course, Jane. You aren’t alone! I think any parent out there goes through this at some point. Probably more than once! XO
Thanks, Laurie!
I left high school a year early for community college, but I came back for graduation anyway. In the year that had passed, I had grown up a lot and had learned from older students what real life was going to be like. It was nice to see old friends again, as it was when I went back for reunions, but I’ve never been sentimental for the good old days. There were struggles as well as victories in those years, like the ones that came after. A good third of my high school class is already deceased, so I feel grateful to have survived this long!
We change so much from high school sometimes with in a year or so. Wow a 1/3 of your classmates. That's a lot! They had to be very young. We have lost a few and I'm sure some I don't even know have passed. One girl passed away only a week after graduation in a car accident. Another a few years ago that was a friend of my husband and I. It's so tough and it makes you realize how fast time goes. I wish there were pause, rewind and even fast forward buttons sometimes ;)
You have no idea how fast time goes. I have watched not only two children graduate, make their way in the world, fall in love and have their own children , but the first of my two grandsons is in his second year of college (and in the UK, the course is three years), with the second not far behind. Indeed, the first is already involved in a very serious relationship. Yesterday was our 63rd wedding anniversary. Tempus fugit. .I wrote very recently about all the decisions that get made along the way. See https://arichardson.substack.com/p/counterfactuals-or-a-sliding-doors
Happy Anniversary to you and your husband Ann. Congratulations! I'll check out your article. Thanks for sharing!
The images you describe are poweful, Jane. Does your son plan to study filmmaking? What a wonderful keepsake (the movie is) for you and your husband. I graduated from high school in 1973, at age 17. 53 years ago. How can it be? I could cry, but today I feel I have soooo much to be grateful for that I really don’t feel like crying at the moment. 🥰
Thanks so much, Deanne. Our son will be going to collge for communications as a major. The school has a studio and wonderful program in that area.
We will appreciate that more and more over the years. He also helped to run a student podcast and was a news and weather anchor. The one that got me the most was when they were talking about their future plans.
How proud of him you must be. I’m happy for you, and for him. Happy summer! 🌻☀️✌️
Thanks so much, Deanne! Happy summer 🌞
I do remember mine I was thinking of it recently. I just remember being Riddled with anxiety and wanting to flee from where I was as quickly as possible
But onward and upward on how far it's come and grateful for the lessons.
My son is 21 and working , and my daughter is rising Sophomore at college I cannot believe how fast it's gone by .
Congratulations to you Mom and family!
Thanks so much!
There is anxiety under it all and grief. Childhood is over. I am excited to see the person he will become yet anxious at the same time if that makes sense?
It sounds like your son and daughter are doing well. Was the transition year for either one of them a challenge?
High school was not my son’s Jam. And we moved internationally during Covid and a few other things- so we ended up online homeschooling him- to graduation- tried online college- didn’t work out- he’s finding his footing- loves pets! Pet sits and works at a pet store loves it
Daughter academically loves it and loves Uni. Each kid is so different and that’s a beautiful thing !!
What I have found is there is no rush- especially today with the price of housing - god knows it has stopped all of us in our tracks (my family of origin ) it’s insane how quickly rent goes up or money runs out.
So slower is better and less is more in terms of the stress - that’s what I hope we r teaching kids -❤️
The Covid years were so difficult especially for student. My son was in middle school when the pandemic started. He did cyber school the following year because his school had hybrid 2 days a week. Not sure if I'd make the same decision again. He needs to be with people.
That's awesome with your son is working with animals and pet sitting. I think we all find our own thing
Each child is so different that's for sure.
I never did well academically due to undiagnosed ADHD but I found my way. Still a struggle.
The price of housing is crazy. I have no idea how anyone can afford anything, especially the younger generations.
I know many who's adult children are living at home. It's becoming more common
We were supposed to have our 50th anniversary in 2020 but we had to cancel. The small town we all went to school throws a reunion every year. The school has since closed but we all try to get together at least once a year.
I'm glad you all can get together at least some of you. That's sad with your school closing. I think I remember you saying it was a small school?
Spoken like a Mom whose son just graduated. Sit in the moment, reflect, and recognize that life is shifting. All things you seem to be doing. This is an adjustment, but life will pick up again. Beware of "soiling the nest" behaviors that help him to become an independent man, but pulls on a mother's heart strings. The summer before my twins headed off to college was hard, but with each year it's gotten easier.
I have an article coming out in The Midst soon that answers some of your questions so won't steal my own thunder here, but I will say I went into the career I knew in high school was for me (healthcare) and I still love it.
Thanks, Shelby! I'm looking forward to reading your article
I remember my High School graduation like it was yesterday. I was a little sad because I didn’t want the time to end. I remember being in the gym lobby after (gym being where ceremony was held) talking with one of my uncles. He asked me how it felt, and I told him I was a little sad it was over. He was shocked and asked why. It was simple. I loved my high school years and the thought of the real world was scary as hell.
Believe it or not, my goal was transportation all along. After graduation, my time spend at University of Illinois Chicago (which was a disaster), my major was to be, “Urban Systems Engineering”. I never got close. College and me just didn’t work. I did go back a little later at a junior college, and worked on an accounting degree for a little bit, but went to work for the railroad and that took care of that.
I went to one reunion. I believe it was the 10 year. I found the jocks (I was not one) turned out to be just normal people. No real egos, no attitudes and discussions brought out some good memories. Every one seemed to be on equal footing. I was surprised about that, but at the same time, it felt great.
High school wasn't bad for me at all either. I missed parts of it. My son is the same way and even more so.
I feel like this area is cliquish though especially with baseball is something we were known for. It started way back in elementary school. Parents trying to relive their youth maybe and still do? He didn't stay in it long. There was a lot of politics around it. It's one thing I don't like about this area, lack of diversity too.
That's awesome that you knew what to do back in high school
People do change. I know I have.
Thanks so much for sharing your high school memories and more of your story. It's always so interesting to hear.
I truly appreciate it!
Wonderful piece indeed. I remember my graduation...something out of "Welcome to the Jungle." We were unruly to say the least :). Here's my very best memory of high school as it applies to life today: I had an English teacher who had recently transitioned from being a newspaper reporter - I used to read her byline. She was like a rock star to me. She told 17 year-old me that I really could do this writing thing if I wanted. A professional wordsmith telling me I was worthy...gosh.
Congratulations on your grad! And thanks for cueing up this memory.
Welcome to the Jungle. Too funny! High School can be a jungle for sure. The right teacher can influence us for life. I had an English teacher too that encouraged my writing. Teachers really do make a difference.
Oh....my my... the time flies! 1977 was so long ago...I was set to be a wife and mother. Ended up alone for many years... I did not get to see my sons graduate.... And now they are both i. Their 40's. And I yearn for grandchildren that will never come.
I was a wall flower in high school...never dated...and had few friends.
I feel more me now
And grateful to have found friends online.
Like you!
Time really does fly. I think when we are younger we think time is infinite, you know?
There are so many changes we go through after high school. I felt like a wallflower in middle school so I know that feeling. Those teen years can be so tough.
Thanks so much, Diana for taking the time to read and comment and sharing your experiences.
Great article! Yes, I remember my high school graduation so fondly. I felt like I could do anything! My plans were to rule the world. My biggest surprise was that this is extremely tiring. Now I just want to be happy.🫶🏽
Thanks so much. We can feel invincible at that age. It’s funny you said rule the world. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” was one of the songs in the class video.
Happiness. I hear you. That is something you can’t put a price tag on.