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Paul McCutchen's avatar

I graduated in 1970. A lot of people forget a lot of the military back then was drafted. I was one of the lucky ones. My draft number was high, so I didn't get the letter. I talked to some of my older friends, and they didn't recommend pressing my luck, so I didn't enlist. Did I regret it? No. I talked to a few that didn't mind the Vietnam conflict, but they were not in the front. I am 73 and some of the people I know still carry the wounds of that war, both physically and mentally. When they came home there were no handshakes, "Thank you for your service" or parades and a lot of the vets just disappeared into the landscape.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I was born during the Vietnam War, and I don't remember any of it, not the ending either. I did feel the cloud of pain that hung over so many adults though, and to this day I feel it.

It's horrible that there weren't supports in place when they returned home from fighting for our country, many without choice. So many were not even adults when they were drafted!

How could they be expected to be integrated back into society and move on like nothing happened? PSTD doesn't work like that. We let them down and we still are today.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

That's a great tribute to our young men. I graduated in 1967, right in the middle of a horrific era. We lost so many young and there's a black granite wall in D.C. full of names, holding so much grief, proof that war is wrong ... thank you for this poem, Jane.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

It's heartbreaking. So many lives affected and taken. 79 lives lost in our small town in combat.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Heartbreaking, yes, and 79 families will never ever be the same. 1 is too many to lose in combat.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Exactly 💯

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I graduated from HS in 1966. Unlike my father and twin brother, I was not in favor of the war in Vietnam. My twin brother tried to enlist but was denied due to poor vision. It was something he never got over, I think. I dropped my student deferment in 1968, went IA, and didn’t know what I would do if my selective service lottery number were called. Luckily, it wasn’t, and I never had to face that choice. Several of my HS friends died during the war—many more came back with a kind of quiet sadness. Most didn’t talk about the experience.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I'm so glad you didn't go either. I can't imagine the losses from Vietnam and other wars. They were all so young. Way too young

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I’ve never been sorry not to go, Jane. I think my brother always felt let down by the fact he wasn’t allowed to serve. I think he felt he had let down the country.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m glad you didn’t go, Paul. You were here with your family where you belonged. There are no winners in war, only losers.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

My family supported the war, my community supported the war—fear of communism and all that. I lived in a sort of schizoid world at the time. I was a student and heard the anti-war talk constantly but I also worked in the community and heard a lot of pro-war/anti-student sentiment.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Our small town full of small town patriots was as mixed as you’ve described. It was a very negative issue for anyone who had a son or daughter in Vietnam, my family included.

That’s the paradox for me. I was and am a proud American —there’s no arguing that. I’m very patriotic. But I don’t believe in war. Nothing is ever settled by war —there are no winners, only losers, especially the families on the black granite wall in D.C. Nothing will ever be the same for them and it’s not only Vietnam. It goes back to the dark ages, for God’s sake.

After my husband was KIA, I was also resentful. The whole atmosphere of the U.S.A. was negative and anti-war. How it hit me was,

“How dare you say my husband died in a war for no reason? You didn’t appreciate that he had to leave a newlywed bride to do what he was trained to do (he was a combat medic) so far from his home and loved ones! Please don’t call him names. Please don’t blame him for the problems between all the governments.”

I think it’s why it took me so long to come to grips with blame, shame, to grieve his loss, and counsel Vietnam Vets through my Blog, Memoirs From Nam.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I'm so sorry, C.J. War hurts all the way around. 💔

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’ve gone on record saying that if one country wants a war with another, they should be locked in a huge room with barrels of water balloons or something like that. Let the country leaders duke it out between themselves. No more killing of our young men and women!

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I know many who felt/feel the same way, C.J.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m sure you do, I don’t think there are many who don’t feel like we do. It was an Era of huge change. Instead of total blind patriotism, we’ve become a nation of “Show Me” how this will benefit the U.S. “Show Me” how that will help us as a nation. “Show Me” why this person even deserves to be in office

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Jo-Ann Petrarca's avatar

Beautiful Jane

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks so much, Jo-Ann. It was inspired by a memorial wall and a ceremony at my son's school yesterday.

It hits.

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