The Loss No One Talks About -poem

Estrangement

I remember when I was three

My mom said feel my tummy

Your home was there

I could see how much she cared

I did too

I couldn’t wait to meet you

We used to play

run through the fields on sunny days

building forts

riding bikes

watching tv

our childhood felt free

We grew

I will always love you

Time passed by so fast

life storms came

you weren’t the same

There is always a way to make things workout

I always said

it was drilled into my head

Life isn’t always that way

sometimes you have to stay away

It was the most difficult decision I had to make

I did this for the ones closest to me

for their own sake

Your eyes grew cold

those memories

weren’t that old

I had to say goodbye

part of myself died

If it was just you

the story would be different

It isn’t

It is who is besides you

that has hurt

she is to be feared

we can’t keep you near

her eyes are even colder

and I had to look over our shoulders

Heart broke into two

the day I said goodbye to you

Please know

I said goodbye

not out of bitterness

or hate

but because

I had to keep us safe

There is guilt

there is shame

I am gutted

the only words I can say

I still doubt myself to this day

I love you

and I always will

I didn’t want it to be this way