Somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge 🌈

When you lose a beloved pet

Photo by Alvan Nee on Unsplash

*Trigger warning. This post discusses the process of grieving a beloved pet*

This post is difficult for me to write. It is a reflection of multiple losses my family endured last year. These losses were our fur family. Our fur kids. Fur siblings to our son. Our heart still aches for the 3 of our special souls that we lost in just under a year.

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Remembering our pets

Hugo

My soulmate cat I called him. Our orange boy. He lived almost 18 years and passed away in June 2023. He struggled towards the end with health issues. He was always by my side, especially towards the end of his life. He was there when I grieved people in my life, and he was there for us. My coffee buddy too. It’s been a year, and my heart still aches for him and always will

Cal

Cal was only 7 years-old when he crossed the rainbow bridge in January. A few months after we lost our Hugo, we learned Cal had an aggressive in-operable abdominal tumor. We treated him to make him comfortable, but the biggest gift we could give him in the end was to help him cross the rainbow bridge. He had a special bond with our son. Like a brother to him. My heart aches as I type.

Kya

She was our golden retriever girl. She passed away in May after living to the old age of 15.

It doesn’t matter how many years you have a pet, it’s never enough. Their little lives are way too short. The loss devastated all of us but my husband the most. They had an unspoken bond. Our lives are not the same.

New friends

We welcomed 2 bonded kitties the day before Easter this year. They are at home with us now and part of our lives. They will never take place of our pets we lost and loved. But just the same, we love them and already can’t imagine life without them. My husband always wanted a black cat, and this dude who just exudes cool, has already stolen his heart. His buddy has a truly unique personality that always keeps us guessing. He’s a snuggler with a swagger.

Grief from loss of our pets

Grief is a normal response to the loss of someone or something

When someone we love dies, such as a pet, the loss can cause intense grief.

Many people consider pets as best friends and family. Our pet’s love is constant

and unconditional.

If you think about it, our pets are almost always with us, we see them more than we do family members. They are there when we lose someone close to us. They are there at the end of a bad day. They curl beside us when we are sick. We care for them. They care for us. It is the purest form of love.

Pets are part of our daily routine. They can be our only constant at times.

Symptoms of pet grief

You may experience a range of emotions with grief including sadness, fear, loneliness, depression, relief that they are no longer suffering, and anger are a few. There is no right or wrong way to grief

What can help us with grief?

Talking to a therapist who understands pet loss will help. There are pet loss support groups online and in person. Make a memorial for your pets. It could be a simple as planting a flower, writing a poem or scattering their ashes over your garden.

Our own dog’s grief

Our dog Simpson has seen so many losses. He was rescued from a hoarding situation in Alabama when he was about 2 years old. He is 11 now and almost blind. The losses of his pet siblings have been devastating to him too

Symptoms of grief in pets

Do our pets grieve? Yes! They can experience the pain of loss like their humans do. Each pet may experience loss differently, like we do.

Keep an eye on them, they may not want to eat or have a subtle change in their activities, some may even act out.

How can you help your grieving pet?

Keep their routine the same as usual.

Take time removing items that belonged to their pet friend, so they have time to process the loss

Exercise – spend extra time with your grieving pet such as playtime and walks.

Be patient. As with humans, grief is not linear. They have had a loss of their companion and best friend.

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Here is my poem about a dog’s experience with grief

A Dog’s Grief

Where did you go?

You were always here by my side

On the sunniest of days

On darkest nights

you were always here

We shared treats

we shared toys

we shared the Spring sun

We used to run in the green grass

forever young

You started laying around more

you didn’t want to play

I snuggled beside you anyway

That was OK, my body was getting tired too

Then one day you were gone

Where did you go?

I waited by the fence for you

My sight is getting dim

It’s harder to see

why don’t you come play with me?

My two other friends left before you

they were smaller

they had claws

they didn’t use them

unless I got too close

then I learned

I can feel

I can smell

sometimes I think I smell you all

A scent brings back memories

then it’s gone

I’m growing old

we have memories

I see us running and playing

if only in my mind

We will meet again

all together in a large field

with lots of treats

until that day

I will keep waiting by the gate for you

*Articles researched were from VCA veterinarian hospitals*