Love and Hate

Can we admit that both exist?

Feb 14, 2026

It’s 8:30am on a Saturday and I don’t have a post in my draft. At least one I feel would be fitting for today.

This morning, I spent a half-hour free writing and felt worse. I thought I’d find answers. I did not. It’s Valentine’s Day. I should be happy, right? I am and yet, I feel heavy grief. I miss so many that I have loved and have passed on. I grieve my youth.

I grieve the world I thought I knew at one time. I grieve those who live in fear every day.

I grieve the loss of the safety of childhood for those children who have seen the boogey men come to life. No children should have to run in fear from their own bus stop. They know their nightmare is becoming a reality as they cowered on the bus. They were not caught by the boogey man this time, yet deep inside he lives on. The fear they have will always lie beneath the surface. They fear for their families. I can’t even. It’s a weight no one should carry.

Under hate is fear

I don’t see love at times in this world, at least not as much as I want to see. I know it’s there if I look. I also see hate. We can’t deny it. “Love is stronger that hate” and “Love in an antidote to fear.” I need to remind myself to of that.

I still feel like I’m sinking, as much as I try to ignore this. I feel powerless, resigned.

This energy I need now is for myself and those closest to me. I feel selfish feeling that way. It’s been a difficult few weeks with my husband’s surgery and our bank accounts being hacked, including my business account. We recovered some money, but not all. What was lost was trust most of all. Trust has been eroded for me so many times in my life and this brings it all back. We are not safe. Not online, on the street, those with authority, or online.

Good Old Days

I wish for a simpler time before technology took over, but then my writing would not reach so many. I would not have had the opportunity to publish several books, to contact relatives from long ago and run my business.

Still, are we using it too much? It is gradually eroding those in-person human connections. I spoke with my sister on the phone yesterday. We noticed that we were both mostly texting, rushed, and had very little actual conversations. It’s been that way with some of my friendships too. Substituting texting instead of getting together. Feeling so busy that our lives consume us. Are we truly that busy?

Life online

Then there is “life on the Stack”. I love this concept as a writer’s platform. I love writing here. This is a community, yet it isn’t. Not at all. There would be no one to sit and drink coffee with here or to bring soup to while sick. Yet, I do notice when you are not around. I do wonder if you are okay if I haven’t seen you write in a while. It’s great, but it also pulls me in, even if I say it won’t. It’s connection we are all looking for. But I also have a nagging feeling that real connection is not here online. We feel something is off to our core. Yet we scroll.