Hi Jane, I think you have your own style, so it’s better for you not to compare yourself to anyone. If your writing gives you joy, as it did when you were seven, do it not necessarily for any audience, but for yourself. What you write is going to evoke a different reaction from every reader, so it’s difficult to know what is going to reach them. I think it’s more like tossing the spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Some posts will, others won’t. I don’t think you should gauge your abilities based on popularity, either. That’s for high school. Write because you like it, and when you don’t, take a break and take stock. It’s not something you can do under pressure, unless you’re a newspaper reporter. I appreciate that you’re here, and I always look forward to your posts 😊.
Hi Jane, first of all, I love your writing. Every time I get a chance to come on Substack, I will always read you. Personally, never ever have I compared myself to anyone on here or in life. I’m anything but a social butterfly and truly don’t know much about technology. If I did, I would have my own page ( is it called posts?) where I would write but not sure how to do it, so I will stay where I am for now. 🤷🏼♀️ Please don’t do this to yourself, you’re a good person. What I have noticed is there is so many things to read, it’s overwhelming at times. You’re very expressive and such a sweet person. Try not to consume yourself in negative thinking and just be your authentic self. Love, light and many blessings…
I’ll say to you…just be true to yourself. Be you, not what someone wants you to be. Your writing is a reflection of you.
Consider this. If you become satisfied and stagnant, there will never be that drive to learn, improve, and the success associated with it. So feeling discouraged isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s that reminder that there is always going to be some kind of improvement available moving forward. Even if it’s something so minute you don’t think it’ll be much, you’ll be surprised. You will look at your successes and see something that becomes a “wow moment”. Then you use that moment in making your next project that much better.
Use your frustration as motivation not defeat. Maybe your situation isn’t as much as about increasing your numbers, but to continue giving the numbers you have what they liked about you in the first place. “Hey, Jane has a new post…I’m on it !” Don’t lose the focus of your successes no matter how big or small. There are probably more than you can imagine. Learn all you can and use it. You’ll be better for it.
I learned this just recently. Build a list/network/group of people you know are interested in your topic. Dont spend so much time looking at the numbers on the various platforms. That’s a distraction.
Me too! The other day, I closed all the browser windows I had "permanently" opened, that I kept refreshing and refreshing... obsessing about my Amazon numbers. Then, I realized I had made a huge mistake on my Amazon page (I forgot to hit Publish after making a correction)! That's why my numbers were dropping precipitously! OMG. No more. I'm not looking anymore ha ha.
I definitely fall into comparison, and there’s a reason why it’s called “the thief of joy”. For me, social media ( I include Substack in this, in this case), makes it worse. I am not sure why my notes and posts get far fewer likes, etc than others’ do. I truly respond thoughtfully here and spend hours and hours on each long form post….
So, what I am trying to do Jane, is see my body of work here as part of my legacy. To see it as part of my way of working on my mission to support others to be as healthy and happy as possible, by putting the needed emphasis on the connections in their lives (their social health). I write what I NEED to be reminded of, and what I wish I knew, decades ago.
I’m trying very hard not to be consumed by the numbers and instead, by the calling to use my strengths and voice to support others in this crazy, stressful life.
I’ve thought about leaving social media, too, but I reach far more people there, on the other platforms, with my reels and writing than I do here. I am trying to see Substack as a place to store all my writing, and also it motivates me to keep going, as I make myself write once a week, even if it is for my relatively small number of subscribers. It’s allowing me to create a portfolio of work I’m really proud of, at least.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and commenting, Gayle.
It's an awesome place to connect and support other writers and artists. That is what it's about.
I also, like you do, used this as a platform and a place to house my writing and it's accountability for myself to write. I started by posting chapters of my book here.
I feel like I get stuck in comparison at times in other areas if my life.
Do you feel that way?
Do you think part if it is the way advertisers everywhere target us? Algorithms are getting more sophisticated.
I absolutely do think it is advertising targeting us, shaming us to think we’re lesser. It’s no wonder that despair is literally on the rise, and suicide, too. Especially in our youngest and oldest adults. Both very vulnerable to this, as they struggle to ding where they fit and it they matter. It’s terrifying.
Interesting post; Social media doesn't lean heavily on me, as I haven't changed over the years. If I'm asked a question, I respond to that question. All I did/do is give a direct answer. What others say and do is not my concern in life or on-line.
PS: People can/will compare my writing, designs, or projects to other creators. Not an issue for me!
Love this post!
Thanks so much, Faye! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Hi Jane, I think you have your own style, so it’s better for you not to compare yourself to anyone. If your writing gives you joy, as it did when you were seven, do it not necessarily for any audience, but for yourself. What you write is going to evoke a different reaction from every reader, so it’s difficult to know what is going to reach them. I think it’s more like tossing the spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Some posts will, others won’t. I don’t think you should gauge your abilities based on popularity, either. That’s for high school. Write because you like it, and when you don’t, take a break and take stock. It’s not something you can do under pressure, unless you’re a newspaper reporter. I appreciate that you’re here, and I always look forward to your posts 😊.
Thanks, Carole. I will keep writing! Sometimes I need to put things back to perspective and I would never think of changing my writing style.
Comparison! Sometimes the old triggers come back, even at my "mature" age.
I like the spaghetti on the wall analogy though.
I write if it doesn’t land, I'm usually on to my next project.
Thanks so much for your kind words and reading my posts.
I appreciate your support so much!
Hi Jane, first of all, I love your writing. Every time I get a chance to come on Substack, I will always read you. Personally, never ever have I compared myself to anyone on here or in life. I’m anything but a social butterfly and truly don’t know much about technology. If I did, I would have my own page ( is it called posts?) where I would write but not sure how to do it, so I will stay where I am for now. 🤷🏼♀️ Please don’t do this to yourself, you’re a good person. What I have noticed is there is so many things to read, it’s overwhelming at times. You’re very expressive and such a sweet person. Try not to consume yourself in negative thinking and just be your authentic self. Love, light and many blessings…
Thanks so much, Jo-Ann. You are a bright spot here on Substack and we are thankful for you.
I'd love to see your writing someday. I had someone help me set up my account a few years ago. I'm not very techy myself.
I appreciate your kind words. With your comments and others on this post. This is a big part of my why here.
Thanks you!! ☺️
You’re so welcome 🤗
I’ll say to you…just be true to yourself. Be you, not what someone wants you to be. Your writing is a reflection of you.
Consider this. If you become satisfied and stagnant, there will never be that drive to learn, improve, and the success associated with it. So feeling discouraged isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s that reminder that there is always going to be some kind of improvement available moving forward. Even if it’s something so minute you don’t think it’ll be much, you’ll be surprised. You will look at your successes and see something that becomes a “wow moment”. Then you use that moment in making your next project that much better.
Use your frustration as motivation not defeat. Maybe your situation isn’t as much as about increasing your numbers, but to continue giving the numbers you have what they liked about you in the first place. “Hey, Jane has a new post…I’m on it !” Don’t lose the focus of your successes no matter how big or small. There are probably more than you can imagine. Learn all you can and use it. You’ll be better for it.
Thanks Ken for reading and commenting.
So many interesting perspective and I few I haven't thought of.
I had a boss say to me once that when someone thinks they have arrived it's over.
We are never finished growing or learning.
Sometimes we need to take stock ourselves and see what's working or not with our writing, careers etc.
I learned this just recently. Build a list/network/group of people you know are interested in your topic. Dont spend so much time looking at the numbers on the various platforms. That’s a distraction.
Hi Kathy! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Agree. I think many of us will eventually connect with common topic interests.
I occasionally get stuck in the numbers game and it takes away my why here.
Me too! The other day, I closed all the browser windows I had "permanently" opened, that I kept refreshing and refreshing... obsessing about my Amazon numbers. Then, I realized I had made a huge mistake on my Amazon page (I forgot to hit Publish after making a correction)! That's why my numbers were dropping precipitously! OMG. No more. I'm not looking anymore ha ha.
Oh no! I have done that myself and realized it weeks later!!! Face palm
You inspire me with your constant writing. And The Scripted Stalker is a great story told well.
Yes, I see other writers who have more success by:
- Selling get-followers-quick schemes
- Selling conspiracy theories
- Preaching how awful that other political side is
- Posting multiple times a day
I have too much respect to do those first three things, and working full time I don’t have the opportunity to do the fourth.
So I settle for my modest success and call it good. Helps that I am not the envious type.
Thanks so much, Nick for your encouragement. I feel like I write to much, but I write when I feel like writing.
I will not sell out or have any idea to writing about any of those topics above. There's too much of all of that now.
I'm here to write and get away from all of that!
I appreciate you taking the time to read sharing your perspective.
I definitely fall into comparison, and there’s a reason why it’s called “the thief of joy”. For me, social media ( I include Substack in this, in this case), makes it worse. I am not sure why my notes and posts get far fewer likes, etc than others’ do. I truly respond thoughtfully here and spend hours and hours on each long form post….
So, what I am trying to do Jane, is see my body of work here as part of my legacy. To see it as part of my way of working on my mission to support others to be as healthy and happy as possible, by putting the needed emphasis on the connections in their lives (their social health). I write what I NEED to be reminded of, and what I wish I knew, decades ago.
I’m trying very hard not to be consumed by the numbers and instead, by the calling to use my strengths and voice to support others in this crazy, stressful life.
I’ve thought about leaving social media, too, but I reach far more people there, on the other platforms, with my reels and writing than I do here. I am trying to see Substack as a place to store all my writing, and also it motivates me to keep going, as I make myself write once a week, even if it is for my relatively small number of subscribers. It’s allowing me to create a portfolio of work I’m really proud of, at least.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and commenting, Gayle.
It's an awesome place to connect and support other writers and artists. That is what it's about.
I also, like you do, used this as a platform and a place to house my writing and it's accountability for myself to write. I started by posting chapters of my book here.
I feel like I get stuck in comparison at times in other areas if my life.
Do you feel that way?
Do you think part if it is the way advertisers everywhere target us? Algorithms are getting more sophisticated.
I absolutely do think it is advertising targeting us, shaming us to think we’re lesser. It’s no wonder that despair is literally on the rise, and suicide, too. Especially in our youngest and oldest adults. Both very vulnerable to this, as they struggle to ding where they fit and it they matter. It’s terrifying.
Yes! It's so sad. Another reason I try to limit
Interesting post; Social media doesn't lean heavily on me, as I haven't changed over the years. If I'm asked a question, I respond to that question. All I did/do is give a direct answer. What others say and do is not my concern in life or on-line.
PS: People can/will compare my writing, designs, or projects to other creators. Not an issue for me!
Thanks so much, Karl for reading and sharing your experience with social media.
I'm working on getting more of that mindset