Facing Jane (Finding Myself in Quiet Moments)

and the ghosts of past, present and future

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to have a quiet morning hour or so with no electronics. I want to thank Kelly's quiet pages for your inspiration. I am trying!

The most difficult part of this quiet morning hour is I have to feel. I have to sit with myself, without distractions. It can hurt when there are no outward distractions, but it is getting easier.

There are so many feelings I have buried, so many I didn’t and don’t want to feel. My phone and laptop electronics sleep during this quiet hour. I don’t need to distract myself and upset my nervous system with them. The downside is I have to feel. I am left with Jane and the ghosts of the past present and future.

I find myself wanting to hide from feelings instead of sitting with them. I try to run, but I can only run for so long.

Here is a short poem I wrote this morning, I decided to share

Enjoy your day!

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Here we are

Jane, here we are

I don’t have to go far

yet my mind travels

to so many yesterdays

todays

and tomorrows

unspoken sorrows.

Too many I miss

feelings of loneliness

Where is life going

whirling so fast

memories of the past

I can’t stop it

I long

I grieve

yearning for

a reprieve

I will sit with myself

all the pain

uncertainty in my life

invisible strife

I am enough sitting here

yet I miss those

I held dear

I always will

for now, I don’t need

an emotional fill

I need to sit with me

and all of those emotions

unfiltered

passing through me.